The Hope....

I have returned back to college. Yes, and is going great! God is evidently working in my life and others. To just stand back and see how He is working in my life and others, is...just really having me in a whole new perspective of my faith.
This is just making me all the more yearning to be stronger in my faith with Jesus. I feel very deep with Him.
Though, I have not attended Offerings, nor Compline in the evenings because of either just hanging out or I had work/homework. I have at the least attended Chapel once this week. That's an accomplishment, right? I guess. I mean, I would like to attend more, but I am thinking that I'll attend on the days where I don't have as many classes because usually on MWF I am starving by my 3rd class and am given a half an hour to eat at the least. On Tue-Thur I have the least classes, therefore, that'll work better out for attending Chapel.
Evenings, it really depends because of work. I usually work in the evenings. If I work, I can't help it as much as I enjoy worshiping in Offerings and Compline.

You remember how I had mentioned I was going to return back to Concordia with a better attitude, being friendly with EVERYONE (esp my roommate), and amend issues I may have had, etc??
My friends, I have accomplished the beginning of this process. I have conquered my fear of what I may face...only through the guidance of prayer and Jesus. Through Him, anything is...possible and one is really given the confidence and courage to stand tall. I believe that is just amazing of what Jesus is doing for me in my life and how I am yearning to accomplish this goal. He is surely working in my life! :D

Examples: One of the first days I have returned back to Concordia, I spoke with my roommate. I apologized for how I acted. I confronted of what I seen in her blog, expressed my feelings, but didn't condemn her of wrongs exactly because I expressed how I've done the same thing she has done. I told her we both have done wrong to one another, and I wanted to fix it all. I wanted to start a new relationship with her, a brand new friendship. I wanted to treat her like the sister in Christ she was to me. I told her how I really never hated her, I was frustrated with her and how our communication wasn't really there. I didn't know what to do. I mentioned how I felt that in my heart I should be fixing my wrongs and making them right for God, and she should, too. We should work together for God, not just ourselves and the salvation God gives us.
(Given at this time, I was confident in knowing that God was by my side for when I expressed my feelings and concerns. God helps me in the times of need and the very same of all of His people!)
I mentioned to her that our suite mate Taylor and I had talked about this. Taylor really wants to have a friendship, too. I told her that some of our ideas were suitemate nights for watching movies, shows we all liked, and the like. She agreed to it. :D I was...very happy to hear this!!!
(God is awesome....)

What have I learned...
1. The WHOLE TIME of last semester, I was living in the fear of my roommate, and amending that relationship with her. I was self concious of what she thought...I was afraid to even approach her. I thought rude things of her. It was bad.
2. Sin creates fear. I sinned...that created the fear I was living in, even for her.
3. With patience, prayer, reflection, reading the Bible, and listening to God...anything through Him possible, even when facing a roommate and a conflict that is really more simple than thought to be! God...is a comforter, a confidence...
4. God is the very guidance I needed...and I noticed it over break more than anything...and listened closely to His word and voice. All praises go to Him.

I've also learned that if you really just stick close to God, listening to Him, rather than man, when it comes to conflict..as in when it comes to needing advice or wisdom...God really is the best to attend to. I say this because we often run to a friend, bf/gf, pastor, prof, whoever, who may be an ideal person to ask for advice or words of wisdom who are knowledgeable with the Biblical standards or God's word. YET...there is a difference of being intelligent and wise of the Scriptures, I feel..which is why we should just really go to the Bible ourselves...when we can just learn it all for ourselves!!! It's not often a person will open the Bible to articulate what is there in God's word that can easily relate to any real life situation, emotion, or whatever it may be...because they're too afraid of God's grace and forgiveness. Why be so afraid when it's easily given, especially when He loves you and wants you to KNOW Him?! I can't fathom over that. I understand sin and temptation interrupt our relationships with God, but we have the free will...If only people realized...how much...they're able to be loved and live in freedom..(real) freedom.

Anyways, I guess that went off topic.

I would like to say I have also been just passing the simple "hello" and smiling, upbeat attitude around as much as possible while still working hard. I've been pretty open to doing as such. I'm not opposed to being quiet either. I have my moments where I'm pretty focused and quiet, too. I'm still the person who usually would rather be approached first, but I'm getting better about approaching others first and such. I'm working on it.

What is kind of nice is...some people and professors that have known me for a whole semester or so, have made comments such as, "Hey, Mak, you're looking better. You seem healthier." "Mak, you seem....there's something new about you that is standing out. I can't quite touch it, but it is definitely standing out. It's positive. Keep it up." "Makaya, you're just glowing. I am glad to see you're happy. What's your secret, I want to know..." "You're so go happy. It's good to see you smiling, Mak. I take it you're feeling and doing better?"
Not only professors, but even friends have noticed I seem a bit healthier, and happier.
I am happier, healthier...maybe..it's up and down..but as for stress reasons, YES. I am BETTER.
I must thank God for this because it was only by Him that I have become healed from just the stress of life and realize He is the one who could really help me.
Therefore, in my discovery of this, further, I am making sure that I am active of blogging for the continuing of ministry, keeping my relationship with God active and in the walk of faith, especially my actions! I want to pass along such faith and love for Jesus with my fellow people here at Concordia in such a way that...it'll be an influence for...the positives of Life.
I am happier because...seriously if you just change your attitude and actions around for the better of others, for you, and God, and just...all those relationships, it comes out to be great!! It really changes you and the perspective you have on people and the world around you. I feel....it can just give you a chance to see how God sees..which is what everyone really needs to do.
Experience God's eyes for a moment...feel the compassion and love He has felt...and feel that for atleast a moment...and try to hold onto it..because I've felt it...and I never want to let it go.
Therefore, these moments I've experienced...my hope is to never lose them...my hope is to..keep experiencing them all, to LIVE them out, to SPREAD the moments of God's glory...
so that...we can all just have a taste of Jesus...again and again....wouldn't that be amazing???
If we could just all do that?! Firmly, it would be amazing.
My hope is for all of Concordia...to have experience the eyes, love, and compassion of Jesus as others and myself have done so that we can share the fact, it's okay to experience this, it's okay to know God, to know that sense of love, and sense of compassion, seeing people in a different perspective...and knowing Jesus in such a way.
To grow in a way of a path towards Jesus, and their relationship...it would be spreadable for the glory of God.

My hope is that.

I also hope...I stay strong, too. That'll be a challenge..but it's one I'm willing to take.

Good luck to everyone at another semester at Concordia! Praying for you!! :D
And others not..in school. xD

<3 Mak