Career thoughts

Well I have had some thoughts run through my mind over this break and I've come to realize somethings about what I've encountered about myself from the past and present.

I'll start from the beginning. During my senior year I had applied to 10 schools or possibly more than that, I can't really remember, but I just know that I was very paranoid about getting accepted into college. College was a vital aspect in my life because I would be the first to attend college in my family. My initial thought was, "I have to get into college. I don't care where out of these few, I just want in." After awhile during my senior year I began to really pray hard about it because I was not hearing back from any of these schools. I had taken my SATs a few times and I do suffer from test anxiety, it stops me from succeeding on tests immensely, it's quite a shame. Outside of the tests I know all the information pretty well, but on the tests, I have no clue...
anyways...back to my point...
I wasn't really paying attention to the fact I was pursuing wishful thinking. After awhile I prayed that God would lead me towards a pathway of His will, not my own, and He would guide me to see what He wants for me in my career, and where I would stand in His will, nothing of my own.

Well, despite what I wanted...I did cry each time I had gotten denied from a college. One after one, they came. I felt very discouraged. I thought, "this is it, I won't get in anywhere just because of a stupid test score..that's all they rely on." Then one day, I had gotten a call after school from Andrew my admissions counselor at Concordia Ann Arbor and he told me I was accepted, congratulating me on my acceptance. Overjoyed, I asked, "Are you serious?!"
I seriously could not believe I was accepted, finally. Given, Concordia was in my top 3 choices. I was very pleased.
This...had shown me..everywhere I applied, God denied, and opened this door because He WANTED me to Major in Family Life-Church Work-Youth Ministry and study Art as well, at Concordia University Ann Arbor, a LCMS affiliated university. If God wanted me to go anywhere else, or study anything else, He definitely would open that door.
Being that He didn't, after all my trust and prayer going to God...for all of that winter of 09-10, Spring of 2010, early summer of 2010, He reassured me of His will..and continues to do so!

I now am a student at Concordia University Ann Arbor, and to be honest, I have experienced my moments where I was all, "eh, do I really want to be here? am I only here because it is the only place I was accepted?"
I then contemplated that the only reason why these thoughts would ever occur is Satan. Satan is trying so very hard for me to become discouraged from going out and performing works for the God that loves me!
God chose Concordia for me, and I feel very called to do youth ministry.
Given, I've prayed about youth ministry since I was 16, therefore, if I were to give it up now, I would be an idiot...because all it is, is Satan trying to get into my thoughts and in the way of my relationship of God, the people who are at CUAA to help me succeed to perform ministry and preach the Gospel, and advance in my college career, destroy my relationships with everyone I've met and grown close with, everything.

I am choosing to talk about this because...I've fallen into temptation and wishful thinking once again so easily. I will not regret this because I've learned from it, simply, and I've learned how to stand firm against for next time around...continuously, that is, too.

Back in December of 2010, earlier in that month, I had applied to transfer to SCAD for the Spring of 2012 quarter. I was just..in a state of feeling really upset about classes and I just felt that Photography was really something I wanted to pursue.

What I have learned is...I would be running away from EVERYTHING that God has set up for me at Concordia. No lie. IT WAS WISHFUL THINKING.
I kept looking for excuses to leave Concordia. I have no excuses to leave Concordia at all. The only thing I could say about it, is...not much to do on weekends, but that's okay, I don't mind walking around, getting outside..I could do that more! :D I could share those moments with Sam and friends. :)

SCAD was...my first choice. Once I had heard that Smithy was attending there..she kept saying how she wanted me to transfer, and was all, "You could be my roomie!" I was thinking of how awesome that would be because we had talked about it long before I knew I was going to attend to CUAA. Smithy is one of my great friends, I would love to be there for her, but...
I'd rather be here. God sent me here, not SCAD. I thank God for what He has done for me.
It may have taken me this long to realize that God has given me so much more than what He could have given me at SCAD, but..no matter, I wish Smithy the best at SCAD because that's His will for her. She has great things going for her now..She's talented in illustration and sequential art. I wish her nothing but the best. :)

My point is..if I would have gone to SCAD as a transfer..I think that I would have been sinning greatly because I would have been chasing after wishful dreams that were nothing but selfish acts against God. The dream of SCAD would have been nothing, but wishful thinking of my own. I don't want that. I don't need that in my life.
All I need is God to guide me in my pathways and to grant my friends, boyfriend, family, church, and His people, guidance, love, and eyes that are His.

There is so much more when it comes to God, and life in Him. At Concordia there is sense of community I believe I would have gotten nowhere else, but at Concordia. I love Concordia, it is wonderful. I have wonderful friends, professors, classmates, campus, and a sense of knowing I will be safe. At Concordia, I love how I can attend chapel everyday, offerings, compline, and then there is church on Sunday's right up the road at St. Paul's that is close enough for us students to attend to. It's nice. There are devos, as well. It does have it's own sense of comfort when it comes to spirituality, it just takes one to get involved in it.
I like how I know a lot of people..and it is small. I enjoy a familiar face. Everyone is friendly. :) It's very lovely.
Now that I think of it...I don't think I'd rather be anywhere else, but Concordia studying what I am studying because...it's glorifying God, exactly what I want it to do.
If it weren't for God..I wouldn't of met all of my friends and boyfriend that are spectacular people...my professors that help me beyond belief..they're great. They're all such a blessing.

God has really blessed me with Concordia University Ann Arbor and everything it has to offer there, and the people on the campus. I am thankful for the people I've met. They're awesome.
I hope God blesses them all throughout this new year and guides their pathways just as He has been for me.


As I've said, I don't regret the fact of what I did about SCAD, but for one thing is for sure I am NOT transferring to SCAD. I'm staying at CUAA.
I do plan on attempting to graduate in 3 years from the Family Life/Art programs.

What I feel God also maybe leading me towards is...to do more study on psychology, ministry, and art. The thoughts of becoming an art therapist as a form of ministry as crossed my mind, while still studying youth ministry and art at CUAA. I am not sure exactly if I would do this...but it's something that has crossed my mind over this break. I will not pursue anything until plenty of prayer has passed and I probably have accomplished this Spring semester.

I just thank God..for letting me learn this lesson and having me realize..where I went wrong and seeing what I need to do to get back on track with Him. It's easy to fall from Him and see temptation from the past come back to haunt you and say, "ooohh this looks attractive" because SCAD is very...attractive in my mind as a college..but it isn't for me. Concordia is for me.

Therefore, thanks and praises be to God for helping guide me, setting my eyes straight back on to Him and His will, rather than my own! I needed it! :D

I pray that all of you keep your eyes on His will, rather than your own and that He guides you all according to His awesome and wonderful will. I pray that He also blesses you this new year. :)

-Sincerely,
Mak