Have you ever?

To whom it may concern:

Have you ever wondered about your past actions?

Have you ever stopped to take the time to think?

Have you ever wondered about how I even felt?

Have you ever stopped to apologize?

Have you ever wondered what it would do to yourself?

Have you ever stopped to wonder why it does to me?

Have you ever wondered what it does to our relationship?

Have you ever stopped to wonder why?


Have I, myself done you so wrong?

Have I ever hurt you to the very extent that I hurt?

Have you thought about the future?

Have you thought about how others are affected?



Have you ever cared for the way that I care about you?

Have you ever cared to be thankful?

Have you ever cared to be content?

Have you ever wanted something healthy with us?

Have you ever just thought to be more than what you are now?

Have you ever even cared to treat me with respect?


Have you ever dared to remember that blood is thicker than water?


Oh, my brother...

We are at sea...lost....sailing different routes....

with minds split apart like two worlds...

The storms never cease nor do they still in calm within our worlds...

How is it that the wave of anger rises to where it never crashes?

Have you ever thought the thoughts that I do?

I have said things, too.
Won't deny it.

Respect, I still have, but slowly it sinks to the bottom of the ocean floor...

never a bubble rise.

Gasp for air
Gasp for one last thought of...


knowing there is a chance for us to survive the storms.



Have you ever thought that we'd survive a storm on two different seas within our own sails?
I have faith.
I steer to adjust my ways just for you to know...


I'd go the distance to show how much you mean to me.

One sided...I can't help, but feel...

Oh, brother,

When did you become lost at sea?

When did you decide it was okay to be a sailor with such language and disrespect?

Have you ever wanted to
grab another boat and set sail the correct path?




I, the young one sailor in the world...
wish that you'd come back to shore and never sail afar again...

it's a rough world,
that I know,
yet know..

you mean more to me than these strings pulling us apart.

you mean more to me than an entire crew of mates


because you're the ultimate friend who needs a friend like me.


We don't know each other.
Never a call.

I call out far,
no answer.

Do I hesitate?
Yes.
Though, God gives me hope...

that you'll return to your ways and trust in what could be like gold.

richer in blood than these earned gold pieces...

we'll reach that climax one day that is seen on the map...

sailing together with support and rich in a relationship than anything else...

I want you to be.





You're my brother.
I love you.
Don't stray away.
I try and try...
where else do I go from this point?

Lost, I am.
Found, you shall be.

Love is the key.
Know that you've got mine
Despite all hardships we face,
the arguments,
disagreements
and the fact we are two different people...

I love you still because blood is thicker than water..

Often, I wonder, "have you ever" simply for the fact...

I love you my brother and want what is best for you.


Shocking, but I want a brother/sister relationship. A healthy one.
Not anything different.

Have you ever thought about how close we could be?
Have you ever thought that your love runs deeper with family?


I know I have.
Have you ever?

Something or MANY things to pray about. :)

Dear God,
I know I haven't been prayerful lately with a whole lot of things, but you really have been blessing me in bigger ways than I would have thought a few months ago.
These past few months have been so busy, filled with hardship, confusion, stress, and worry.
Lord, you have not ceased to amaze me one bit with the fact of teaching me contentment, relaxation (and the fact it's okay to relax and NOT worry), to learn more about myself and my relationship with not only you, but others.
I am all the more thankful for my relationships that I have with everyone in my life. You've blessed me beyond words could even say, write, and explain on any elaborate way possible.
Thank you for teaching me contentment. I've learned to be content with being single, not being able to know what was going on in my life, the reasons behind all things, why You had chosen for me to go home, why things played out the way they did with certain people, and why I was chosen to be blessed the way that I was.
Thank you for teaching me that money and possessions aren't important compared to you and everyone else in my life. Thank you for continuously help me to understand that I may not have a lot, but having less is the true blessing to a heart who has less and helps one to be content with all the more that they have in their life that truly matters; You alone, family, friends, and the church body.
Thank you for teaching me that I can be strong even though I don't always like to show that I have moments of weakness and it's okay to be weak.
It's okay to cry, show emotion, and need help. Thank you for teaching me not to be afraid to get the help that I needed long ago and for being mature about it.
I am thankful to you that I now have a better understanding of what you want from me in Your kingdom and where I belong.
I've learned that upmost I belong to You and Your plans for me. I belong in Your heart.
That I belong having a career in the arts where I'm strong.
Lord, learning that I can also do ministry in Philadelphia has been the biggest deal to me because I love serving You. I love to serve You and share the Good News about Your Son, Jesus. I THANK YOU so much for choosing me to do so. I wouldn't want it any other way.
To think that You had chosen me long ago and to know that I come before Your cross surrendering all...I would have never known You would do this to me.
Thank you for choosing me and all of Your people...loving us the ways that You do.

God, I want to dedicate all that I am to you so much that it makes me cry out to You asking that You'd help me.
Awakening my soul...in the ways that You do with every thought of You, situation that comes on hand, and prayer...
what You do to me is amazing and I feel so blessed by You.
Thank you for blessing me the ways that You have because I don't know where I would be without You.

Lord, forgive me for not thinking of You so much lately and being caught up in things of this world.
It's such a harsh temptation, but I know that You understand and I am all the more grateful knowing that You understand me.
Lord, you know my heart best and you know that I am dedicated despite I may fall.
I write to You so that You can see how much I really love you and want to share my experiences and faith so that others may be inspired to love you and seek your face.
Seek you with all of their hearts just as I am.

Lord, I pray that we may seek our hearts to You so that we may be inspired by Your glory to spread the Good News and share of Your great love.
‎"He said, "Go and tell this people: 'Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.' Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed." Isaiah 6:9-10
Lord, you have called us out of darkness into lives so glorious, God we live for you. ♥
We are to be understanding, patient, and loving with our eyes, ears, and hearts, opening them up with an open mind, but a mind that is focused on Jesus and His ways ultimately, while being loving to all of His creation.

Lord, I feel so inspired to just share the ways that I speak with you because I am blessed by being open with my writing and I am so thankful!


Friends, our God is so cool! Though, the relationship aspect may seem intimidating, trust me, all He wants is to love you FOR YOU and you to love and accept Jesus as Your savior. It's so awesome. :)


Lord, I pray for everyone to seek your face and to know you one day. I pray that you would guide our hearts to be of you and that our thoughts would be of you.
I pray that we would be patient and understanding with people that are of you and who may not be, so that we are loving in all ways possible.
I pray that our love would be spread throughout the world aboundingly and that we would learn to accept the heart rather than what a person may have done for whenever those things do not define the heart, but rather shows a mistake. We as a people are no where near perfect and we all need to understand no one is better than the other...we're equal and should be loved for who we are now and will be in the future rather than the very past.
Lord, I thank you for teaching us to love and giving us the ability to love.
The ability to love is a blessing alone.

God, I thank you for opening and closing doors in the ways that you have.
I thank you for blessing me with all of my family, friends, and boyfriend. They're all amazing to me and they would not be here in my life if it weren't for you.
Therefore,
thank you for blessing me with these people in the ways that You have.
I pray that you would guide my family, friends, and boyfriend to be of You and that you would guide their hearts, minds, and faith to be surrendering to You so that You may be glorified ultimately.

I know that You will do great things with my family, friends, and boyfriend. You will bless them in ways unimaginable.

Despite, not everyone that I know is of the faith, I still pray that You would work through them so that they may grow close to You. Use Your Spirit Lord according to Your will and ways.

Lord, my mind is going a thousand milliseconds fast and I can't help, but want to pray for the world.
Our world is at fault with one another and of worldly ways. I pray for this world, every single country, leader, citizen, and all of the things because we need Your guidance, wisdom, and love present in these times.
Things are hard right now, but I have faith and hope that You will have Your way with all the things in this world and that we may see You working.
Lord, we need You...at every hour. We need You so much.

I feel that our world is coming to an end at some point soon and I feel the need to pray that when You do return that none of Your people (including myself) would not be in fear, but great joy to see Your face.
It does make me nervous, but I am happy to know that I will be in Your kingdom finally!

God, I pray for all the financial issues arising. It's so hard right now, especially with families and those alone. There is children and adults that are homeless and starving world wide and I pray that you would provide for these people and nourish their minds and bodies. Help and protect these people.

I pray for my family's financial situation. I pray that You would provide for us according to Your timing and ways...that my mother would be relax and not worry and know that You will provide.
It's hard for her to have faith, but I pray that you work in her.
Give my family comfort in knowing we'll make it through just as we always have.
You have always provided us little by little and I am thankful because it's always enough for us to realize how blessed we are by the little things rather than the big.
We have never had big things in life and that makes me thankful in knowing that we are able to learn so vastly that we can live without possessions and bigger values because we are so understanding of what matters in life, what is important to have and not have and consider each other a blessing with a home...a home not only that isn't just a roof, but a home where the heart is so vibrant where we are warm and welcoming to all those who enter in our presence.
That, I am thankful for. THANK YOU!
My family is the best and I wouldn't trade any of them ever despite I may get annoyed with some family, but that's okay and normal!

Okay, I am totally just rambling here, Lord, but You know writing this out helps me out with my thoughts. :)

Just thank you for everything and everyone that has happened and blessed me in these past couple months.
You're truly awesome.



God will never fail you. I know there are times where we may feel God isn't there, but trust me, He is.
God has always been there from the very beginning and will always be, even when the world is no more..He will be there!

May God bless you in the ways that He has blessed me, if not even more so!
I pray for all of you and extend my love out to you.

<3

God, thanks for letting me be up this late at night just to write to you.
Please protect us through the night and bring us tomorrow a day for You.

I pray that tomorrow will go well and that you will protect all of your people. Thank you.

-In Jesus's holy precious name,
Amen!


<3 Mak

Ps. I know this is really scattered..but I feel SOOO much better getting this off of my chest and mind!

Angered Filled Poetics

Angered and Grace Filled Poetics By: Makaya Hicks
References: Books of Ezekiel, Matthew, Psalms, the Bible itself.




Is it worth it?
Is it worth the fact I feel ever so angered
Filled within my own hands
Forevermore gone
Not so...factual anymore
Here it goes, nothing....
Anything can change this..
For I, am the only one
Pathetic right now, but yet
I disgress.

Time and time goes on
filled my eyes
watch the clock
ticking
newsprint read for all those days
Not so....factual anymore...
Here it goes, nothing
Anything can change this..
For I, am the only one
Concerned right now, but yet
I disgress.

Questioned, non answered
holding back
unopened, folded
painted dark, un-neutralized
Not so...factual anymore....
Here it goes, nothing
Anything can change this..
For I, am the only one
Willing right now, but yet
I disgress.

Corrosive, forevermore like the Raven
It's all holding me down in the chains of darkness
Your hand, it reached out
I reached
Your light it guides me, out of this dungeon for I am with held upon

The light
the stronghold for whom shall I be afraid?
When He is here to guide me.

The Raven it devours, but yet I will still say "For whom shallth I be afraid, for the man with four faces and four wings is right beside me with His glory!"
For the Raven had then backed away, and disappeared away with the vile demons.

A lightning storm came, with the man with the four faces and the four wings, the glory of God was bestowed before thyself, for I was not ashamed.

Grace upon....

Reigning over the land, merciful
It is a glorious forever seen Yahweh
It is factual
It is believable
It is faith
It is your mercy that was shown upon, thyself

The child had come before her Lord, asking for forgiveness. She was aware of the blood that was shed of the Lord on the cross.
Jesus called out to her, like a child before herself, standing and spoketh these words, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven."

I left forgiven, humbled, and forevermore remembering, Love the Lord your God, humble thyself.

Colly Strings-Poem

Colly strings, oh how I've been pulled by each string imaginable this past awhile. Where are you taking me?
To the darkness where I aly myself a tomb,
bury the bones,
narrow in,
narrow out
look into thy tunnel til I see the light of this revelation.
A revelation, that is what I have sat here under this tree to yearn for.

Is it shining through, or is it ceasing away from the grip of my very hand?

The hand is filled with black grease,
the grease of your oil, the oil that slips through every vein of forbid.
Forbidden to foresee everything that I could become,

yet to have it given back to me.

I have reached the revelation for it has been received in grace,

not forbidden when once thought otherwise, for I was, the one...

walking away from you.

Pacing to see the light,
colly strings could you take me along the lines to success?

Colly strings could you see me through? See me, don't forget me.


I'm not walking away anymore, I'm facing the lines of colly.

It's got me thinking....

Lately,

I've been experiencing a lot of friends talking to me about relationships and it's got me thinking...
what I would want someone.

It's not often that I really thinking about that certain someone that's out there...
but I really want to write about this because deep down, I will confess...
Yes, I think about this subject a lot more than what I express because
I don't want to show that I am weak, but rather strong.

I find it a temptation to want someone here by my side in the journey of faith and life...I don't want to forget that God is the ultimate one who gives me strength in the journey and He walks with me.

I sometimes forget that God wired me a certain way, but when I do remember, I am forevermore thankful because I stand out from all else.

Well, what I guess that I am trying to explain is...whenever I have guys talking to me about other girls...it makes me wonder what I don't have that they're not seeing in me
or what do I have that would do them well?
What is it that some women have that I don't...and they get a guy?
-I am not saying that I am desperate, because certainly, I am not. I just have my thoughts-

What am I talking about...I stand out so much that..a guy would be an idiot to pass me up.
I am a great person.
-I am not saying this to be egotistical, but I am being honest-

I am confident.
I am intelligent, witty, funny, awkward (sometimes...well..all the time)
I am firm in what I believe in.
Honest, blunt, forward, realistic, idealistic, logical, analytical
outgoing...
loving, compassionate, sentimental (don't always show that)...

I don't know why I am even writing about this---

I get frustrated because I hear about my friends who get treated so poorly or NOT good enough OR get treated with what they DESERVE...
and it makes me wonder...what if I was that person...to treat them like they were worth something..
with value, respect, love, trust, honesty, and never holding back to do what is right for them, holding them accountable...
letting them know that they can trust and have faith in me.

I am not the type of person to treat a person poorly (anyone for that matter), it just isn't in my character.

It's just..I get frustrated whenever I'm viewed as the, "best friend", "bro", "friend who games and shares all things inside nerd with..."
I've gotten friends jokingly say, "Makaya-forever alone" I laugh at that...but sometimes I'm like, "okay, seriously...not cool man.." because I know that I am not forever alone.
Maybe single for a long time..which I have no problem with really being single because yes, I am independent...

but there are moments where I think it'd be nice to date or be in a relationship that is worth it.
I don't look to be involved for just no reason, or out of being lonely, bored, etc.

I look to be in a relationship of value and worth between that guy and myself.
To share something significant.
To share the faith in God and in one another.

I take relationships and dating very seriously. I am not saying that I am picky, but I can be. I want to date someone that I feel is very potential for something beneficial and greater for the both of us. I want to find and share faith that betters us both in the heart, not to harm nor tear down.

I've had guys be interested in me, but I didn't feel the same way because it wasn't that I didn't value them, it's due to the fact I felt simply God didn't lead me that direction.
And, honestly, because I didn't feel a special something between me and that guy.
I've had TONS of friendships where yeah, we definitely got a long and all...but..
you always know there is something special with that one person whenever you can literally just express yourself in ways that you've never done before, talk to them about anything and everything...(even if it's..personal, that means so much), share interests, beliefs, and
definitely be able to openly joke with one another..and know that it's because you're such awesome friends to do it.

...

Just now thinking of this..
it's always really weird whenever your own parent considers introducing you to another person to potentially go out with...
I'll never pursue that.
Friendship, yes.
Relationship, NO.

Lesson: Never date someone you haven't known for a long time OR aren't significantly close with BECAUSE it could cause a good friendship to end OR you'll learn things about one another TOO quick..which can end...something that could have been good future wise...
or you just learn you're really opposite and it can't work out...

I have my own standards that I look for in someone, but I take notice to the littlest things about a person and put those into consideration.
I'm very observant and a good listener.
I notice habits fast and I remember the littlest likes/dislikes, generally, facts about a person. I even remember conversations quite well.
Because I take everything into consideration and value the good things in a person.
I notice the flaws, but I don't consider them to be affecting of what I find admirable in a person's heart.
I see past everything because I know that no one is perfect.

I guess, I am yearning to share...something with that person because I won't lie, I want to so badly to just express how much respect, value, admiration, and so much more with that person.


I find meaning in the little things of life to be great...
Valuing what is important.


I am one to value a person for their heart, not what they have done.


One day, I know that God will lead that right person for me to me, and me to him.
I don't fail to believe that.

I just want that one person to know whoever they are,
they're so much more and their heart is what I notice the most.
God loves that person very much.
And I hope to be someone they can depend on, share their heart and faith in God with, share interests, share the hardships with me so that I can help them be strong and help hold them up,
to have faith in me because I won't back down nor leave.
To share respect and love.
To find something more in one another that can be used for the good and beneficial.
To open each other's eyes to the unseen and to know that it's okay and not to fear.

To share what God wanted us to share...

I'm very caring and loving, and I don't always know how to express that...I express myself better with small gestures and words on paper because I feel those have more meaning besides the 3 words said between two people.
I feel that me praying for that someone shows that I do value and love that person.
I strongly feel that me just showing that I actually care about the little and big things in a person..
and holding them accountable...shows that I love and care about them...because I value the well being of a person.
I am not into the materialistic type of relationship.
I am into the Godly type. The type that God wanted us to have with one another.


-am rambling...ergh-

I really wanted this to be organized in a fashion that makes it understandable and...just...I don't even know..good? Good in showing that I am very honest in what I feel and want...I am very real about what is on my heart and mind, all of my feelings...---

I don't doubt that I'll have a Godly, loving, healthy relationship one day...

I just..wonder...when? Ya know?

I don't want to show you that I am weak..because I am not. I am strong in my independence.
Yet, I do say that I am human...and I can't stop these thoughts and feelings arise from time to time..

because every human wants to be loved and cared for...to mutually share everything with that one person and feel something..nice..

It's rare for the general people to have a healthy relationship anymore and that is sad...

It breaks my heart in that sense...but I feel, the broken hearted can always be mended to be greater, stronger, and be of a love that is so deep and intricate..it'll be inspirational.

Whoever you may be, good Sir...
I'm sure that you're awesome and are worth my time, love, respect, and care.
I wish nothing, but happiness for all those couples, singles..and...friendships. :)

To find happiness in one person is a challenge, but there is hope..
because God gives us that hope. Hope in a better heart shared. I admire God for such a gift of love. Praises be to Him.





Btw, dear good Sir...

You might find it a good value you to know that...I love God, Star Wars, Star Trek,
video games, sarcasm, humor, reading, writing, artsy things, and
I do love hockey.
I hate chick flicks...they're too much for me..

and one word for you, "derp."

If we share something purely awesome..that means...we shall be purely awesome together.


The End of all rants of relationships, lovey dovey stuff..and the "like" of such.

-awkward penguin-

There's something more...

I have these firm beliefs that there is something so much more significant in life for all those who deserve it or who dedicate their time to what is meaningful.

I guess, that at times it's so easy for us to just...get foggy in knowing what is best, right, and believing there will be a brighter insight in what may be to come.

A friend of mine who I call, "Zelda" that I met at Moore, called me today.

She had updated me with her health status and how she was going to be further testing and help.
(My friend, has a lot of health problems and it's really sad. Though, it's not for me to state as to what those are.)

I felt....sad, but relieved in knowing she was seeking and furthering help for what she's facing.
She told me this as well, "I feel that despite I've withdrawn from Moore and am going through a rough time, just like you are in a sense, I feel God has led me to meet you for a reason and I am thankful. Thank you, Makaya."

This...touched my heart, sincerely. I'm not one to be very...emotional over sentimental things at times despite I am -a very sentimental, loving type of person deep down in my heart, I just..don't always know how to show that-
I very well...wanted to somewhat cry? I guess? I felt the feeling of my eyes swelling...
She continued on and then said this, "You gave me faith to know I could get better. I'm somewhat pessimistic because of my issues, but you make me feel worth something."
I silently cried.

Knowingly, that I've touched a life...I mean, I only knew her for maybe...4 weeks in school, then I left...
how is it that I've done good in a heart that I barely had known? How is it that God has chosen me to touch a life that wanted to not be of this world any longer?

I told her this, "Have faith. It'll get better and I'll pray for you. I don't know how I could have helped you before, or even in the end of it all, but what I do know..I am here for you in the hardship. I am here by your side. Remember that."

I told her to know, there is something more to what we have in life. There is something more to a life to be lived.
There is something more to her and who she is. She has a heart that is so much more than what she realizes. She's sweet, kind, and thoughtful. She IS a blessing to me, her family and friends, and to everyone who crosses their path.

I feel...her story has inspired me to just know there is something more to each person...deeper than what's upon the very surface.
I have known that, but to really..go digging...is what has gotten me thinking...why and how she is such an inspiration.

She is a girl who is something and worth more. Who is fighting a good fight. She is that light that has to be seen.
She has a brightness about her that has opened my eyes and I am so thankful.

Through hardships we see in other people, we see that through our own, together, we can fight a good fight, and see that there is always something more in what is, what is to come, and be gone...
There is ALWAYS something more with God.
God has given us both something more than what we bargained for, each other.
Each other to share a fight of hardship and to see that God is ultimate in the end of it all and that's what is something more in our hearts and lives today.

I am thankful that there is something more.

<3

Friendships

Friendships.
The relationships that are never ending, nor do the people that are so completely special to you ever lose a place in your heart.

What is a friend?

A friend who isn't just there for you, but who is willing to listen, hold you accountable, loving, caring, understanding, and forgiving of your well being and heart.
They're willing to go out of there way for you, not simply because they're attempting to be nice, but they want to.
They're willing to share interests, jokes, sarcasm, music, skills, life experiences/stories from their hearts so that you may learn as well of what they've gained in life.

They're willing to set you in your place whenever you're a jerk and still are completely loving and forgiving.
Or, simply, they just love to set you in your place for the fact of liking you for who you are.

Accepting all that you are and aren't afraid to say that nor show the emotions behind it all of how they exactly feel.


I've learned that...the friends that I have, I am EXTREMELY blessed by and so thankful for.
I don't know where I would be without any of them.

I must say, I possess some of the most awesome friends.
Not because they fit the 'category' of friend, but for the simple fact of
they're just...so surpassing of the genericness of a friend (i know that isn't a real word, but I needed something.)

I have had my share of friendships that were both healthy and unhealthy, if anything I've come to realize now, every single friendship had this deeper meaning behind that has built me up as a person..
These friendships were built on a foundation that was so firm...it can't be shaken.

These friends that I've made have chosen me for a reason. They saw something in my heart that was great and different.

I would have never thought I would have made the friends that I have now in a million years because when I was younger, I didn't believe in friendships, simply only people who I would merely talk to -if- I had to...not because I wanted to.

Now, I believe I have friends that I do no matter where they're located geographically, for a reason...a grace given to me by God...a blessing..that was given to me because I didn't deserve it, but due to the fact or principle that God wanted it to be so we made encourage and love one another for the heart seeing past all the flaws..so that we may become better in what God has created us to be; loving and compassionate beings.

All of the friends that I have now I consider a gain, hearts to respect, love, and value...
each and every single one of them a complete blessing...because I've learned things from them that I probably wouldn't of with anyone else.


Therefore, cherish your friends. Value them. Love them. Be all that you can be for them because you want to for God and that friend, doing nothing out of selfish ambition, but all for the better of that friendship and person being completely selfless and sacrificing.
People need that more in a person, a friend...more than you think.

To all of my friends that I've made all over the places I've lived, been educated, worked, etc...

Thank you. Just wanted to thank you for your undying friendship with me,
sharing all that you are in your heart and being,
trusting and having faith in me as a friend..
and
thank you for being YOU. Don't change yourself. Keep the faith and know that you really are respected, cherished, valued, and loved by a friend.
This I do because God has called me to do so and simply... because I want to. :)

Thanks for everything that you've been to me. You all are surpassing the very meaning of awesome in my eyes.

-Ends sentimental stuff here-

<3 Mak

PS. Be yourself always and never fear to share who you are. Some of us actually do care. :)

A Life to Please God.

Lately,
I have been experiencing my fair share of the up and down eras.
Although, these up and down moments have not hindered my faith, but rather have stirred up this curiosity and yearn for so much more in what I have now and will in time.
How to explain...
Have you ever felt that there was a certain someone, career path, or something so much more just waiting for you and you're all the more curious as to whom that person or what it could be?
Have you ever pondered what God's purpose for you so immensely that it causes you to ask God all the more to reveal to you His majesty and will?
To reveal to you that one person who will be with you until the world is no more?

These thoughts have arisen in my mind quite more than exactly wanted...

As in, I want to be content in my life where I am at so that I can live it all out loud all the more to please God and bring Him glory.

I don't want to be in a career path out of selfish ambition, but to bring Him glory and to use my hands on/ life experiences/talents in that career path or the life alone that I live for Him. If I weren't to do so, what would be the point in that?
Would there be an exact purpose?
I am praying to just lead a life for Him.

Relationships:
They're not about just the meaning of love, but what the action of love is. They're about a friendship that is cherished between the two people equally to where they've decided to be dedicated in a 'more serious friendship' that is called a relationship because of the love that dwells in their hearts for one another.
Relationships are to be about care, deep respect/trust, compassion, altruism, and faith in one another, God, and be a great example of what they stand for in this world.
From a Christian stand point,
I do believe a relationship between two people should be of Christ's love, putting on the Armor of God when living in this world so that they may influence others to follow in that example (following in the example of how Christ lived and loved His people).
To value what they have in one another.
The trust and respect between the man and woman is so intricate and divine, it cannot be hindered because the love is abounding through their veins so vast that it has shown such an uniqueness and greatness that should never be broken because the two people can do so much for one another to build each other up, to live for God and their significant other as practicing the love of Christ through showing their love to others as well.
(Does that make any sense? I don't know, but it does to me. Sometimes, I'm abstract, but I know what I feel and think).
I feel relationships have lost their true meaning and value because so many relationships are just in it for the other person and not on an equal value. How is that fair to the other person and you alone?
It isn't.
Sometimes, relationships are in it for the right reasons at first, but as time goes on, the honesty in the hearts cringe away because of the world tackling what was once healthy to make it a disease.
(I am not saying every relationship is a disease. I'm saying that they can turn to be 'emotionally deadly' and damage happiness for one person, despite one is happy, it will soon turn to a spread of a plague that destroys happiness and sometimes a once was friendship and what was between the two beings).

I see relationship after relationship between pretty much all of my friends. Most of my friends are dating and I am extremely happy for them. I want the best for the each of them and all the more being that their hearts are protected and healthy, nothing less, nothing more. Just for them to be happy and healthy in what they're involved of, and same for that significant other despite I may not know them or even if I do.
It's equal on all parts there.
My confession is...I'm feeling slightly jealous because I've been that, "best friend" to men, and don't get me wrong, I am HONORED, but I do have moments where I sometimes wonder if I've actually met that right guy already or not.


Apart of me feels I've definitely met a few potential guys that would be great for me, and I am for them...
Yet, what I need to remember and continue to do is God has a plan and that one perfect person for me and I am continuously waiting patiently.
I am not in a rush to go into a relationship, but I feel I've healed enough to enter a potential one.
Again, God knows who and the perfect timing for such a relationship to take off. I give Him all the more praises for Him helping me with how I feel in my heart, beliefs, and living for Him on this subject and life as it is.


In or not in a relationship or sure/unsure of our career paths, we should be living our lives to please God. That isn't always easy, but that's why we have a Savior and a God who loves us so much to help us with our daily living and to provide.

A thought of the day:

1 Thessalonians 4

Living to Please God
1 As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.

3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.[b] The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

9 Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. 10 And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, 11 and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.


We need to be equally committing our hearts to God through everything we do and pursue whether it be a friendship, relationship, hobby, career, talent, etc.
Everything we do needs to be giving all the glory and praises to God through a life pleasing to Him.

God has taught us the right way to live, therefore, we ought to be doing as He has instructed with hearts and minds in the right place of God never out of selfish ambition or frustration.
If one does something out of sinful reasons, they're wronging another, themselves, and God.
We all have moments like these, but I urge everyone to evaluate where you're at in life, relationships, friendships, careers, anything for that matter, and upmostly God so that you're able to get back on the right track and never straying away like a lamb from its Shepard.

I pray that we all know the differences between right and wrong in our hearts for God so we may bring glory to Him, living a life pleasing in His eyes rather than for anyone else or ourselves.

I pray that we also find happiness and learn to truly value what is precious to us, our God.

I pray for all good things in His name.

As always, I hope this was food for a thought to all or some, whoever this reaches, I really pray and hope it has helped you in a significant way in your heart as it did in my own.

Praying for all.
<3
Mak

Weaknesses and Struggles can be made Beautiful

Lately, I've been experiencing my own share of struggles and I realize I have weaknesses that hold me back from succeeding.
These weaknesses that I struggle with on a daily basis, I accept the fact that the Lord made me this way. He made these weaknesses apart of me so that I may use them according to His ways to minister to others.

I am currently living with untreated ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). This disorder affects many people both children and adults daily.
ADD is not something everyone understands, so I'm going to explain to you what it exactly is and how it affects me daily:
(reference information from: helpguide.org)

Attention deficit disorder–also known as ADHD or ADD–is not merely a problem with paying attention. ADHD makes it difficult to manage the multiple tasks of daily life, especially complex tasks that require organization, planning, and sustained focus.

ADHD is challenging, but once you understand the problem and how it affects your life, you can learn to compensate for areas of weakness and take advantage of your many strengths and talents.

People with ADD/ADHD have issues paying attention, accomplishing or even starting tasks, keeping organized, have problems with remembering tasks, events, or what they may have learned.
One may tend to procrastinate and be very 'scattered.'
There is hyperactivity and impulsivity involved as well.

Different symptoms can range in different people depending on their chemical imbalance and the amount of neurons being transmitted.

What I face:
-Disorganization with home/studying/note taking/time
-Forgetfulness
-A hard time paying attention
-Difficulty accomplishing or even starting homework/studying/several tasks.
-Procrastination
-Dealing with stress and frustration
(these are the ones I know for sure off hand that I can pinpoint that bother me daily)

Frankly, I feel what I am facing is so difficult at this point in my life to live with on a basis that can be controlled because I am taking classes in college and work 2 jobs, which is..realistically manageable by a 19 year old, but for me..it's becoming more and more of a challenge each day.
This challenge feels..almost impossible to overcome because I am experiencing stress and moments where I am so confused and unsure of what to do and how to deal.

There's not a day that I don't doubt I could improve, I just know according to God's timing..it'll work out for the best despite it is foggy right now.

It does not hinder my faith in God whatsoever. I completely am knowledgeable of the fact God has created me in such a intricate and creative way to where that I can do good despite my struggles.
Everyone struggles differently, this I know, but we should not let these struggles we face hinder our relationship with God, one another, how we go about our careers, schooling, or daily basis in life. We should rather be thankful we have these struggles and thank the Lord we can learn about ourselves and one another in His name. We are able to make something so beautiful out of these struggles to where, we forget the fact we even face the daily challenges.
God has given us what we have in our lives for a beautiful reason and I've found that the reason is to gain a sense of comfort in knowing that none of us are alone despite how much we may feel like it. The Lord understands and knows us best. He knows our struggles...and with how He heals us, is by working His Spirit through others to let us know, He is there and we aren't alone by having the ability to relate to others and encourage one another.
That is such a blessing that has made our struggles beautiful.

What is also beautiful in our struggles is that...we begin to trust in God so much more than we could have ever expected from our own hearts. God draws so near to us that it brings us to a state of worship and humbling ourselves before the cross. How awesome is that?
Also, for Him to use our struggles to minister to others...beautiful!

It's so true to say, "Lord, you make beautiful things! You make beautiful things out of us!"

We as Christians should remember that God helps us in our weaknesses/struggles and makes us strong every single time in the end of each state of difficulty.
Apostle Paul struggled, but he went to the Lord in prayer and prayed for guidance and strength. He struggled so much that He did not let those weaknesses hinder his faith in God one bit. We need to do the same despite the difficulty of just doing that.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

All the more, we should praise God for how we were created and what we go through because it's all for a reason to better His kingdom and how we live our lives as a follower of Christ with Him and one another.

God has a plan for everything according to His wonderful timing. Don't let anything hinder your thoughts of where you should be, why you are experiencing something difficult, or why you were wired the way you were...it's out of God's creativity and love...out of His grace and wisdom...that you are who you are.

There is so much color to our lives that we are beautiful.

We are all beautiful through everything we are and experience all through the grace of God.


Ecclesiastes 3:11

11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Never forget that you're not alone and are so loved.


God is so good to us. Each and every little thing is to be cherished as a blessing from God.


Praying for everyone out there.

<3 Mak

Lord, let us follow You.

"I will follow" -Chris Tomlin

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow


It's often that not only myself alone struggle, but I forget to realize that we all struggle daily.

Some days, I can honestly say that I really do feel alone in how I live my life and how I struggle with my faith.
What I feel and actually do is completely different in certain moments.
As in, I'll pray to God about whatever, but is there moments I actually act it out? Yes and no.
I feel that once I go through a hard time, I tend to get so...'scared' of what it is then and is to come because I am unsure.
That feeling of being unsure is something that really eats at me.
I wouldn't say that I don't know how, but I do struggle to trust in the fact that I am where I am for a reason in the eyes of God despite it may not be clear to me.
I know that it doesn't have to be clear to me where I am at with my life because it's all clear to God where He wants, has, and will do for me.
I trust that God's ways are the ways to life. I trust in God.

But, I sometimes wonder that when I say, "I trust in the Lord." Do I really trust in the Lord?
Am I giving Him myself wholeheartedly?
Am I trusting Him with everything that I've got in my heart and life so that He may be glorified?

If I am not, then I want to. I want to do all that I can do to be what the Lord has created me to be for the glory of Him.

What I want is people to realize, God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
We are a called people who are always being qualified for the works of the Lord daily.

I am realizing that whatever all that it is that I am going through, these moments I will cherish all the more because they're for the glory of God.
These moments are the moments where God is building me up to be qualified because He has called me out of darkness.

He has called you out of darkness. He has called you into His perfect light.
How easy is it to say this, but to really trust in it!

I pray that all that we say in the Gospel of Christ when sharing all that we know of Christ is not only about reaching out in His name, but being able to apply all of the content to our lives daily in the act of Christ and love for Him.



I realize that all that all I experience is for the glory of God because He had it planned so that I may learn.

God wants me to learn and gain so much in His eyes. God would never put anything in our pathways to harm us. He only wants what is best.



This is what faith can do...
It brings me to share openly with all of you and my Lord what I struggle through and what it is that brings upon these thoughts.


Only a daily basis, I usually have tons of subjects that I want to blog about with my faith and how God is working...

It's hard to find time. God understands.

All I can also say is that,

How we follow Christ, is out of our lively acts, not just talk.
Act it all out. Don't be afraid. God knows your heart and that's all that matters.

Praying that we would have the courage to openly discuss our issues so we may help encourage one another in the faith and know
that what we experience is to help us realize God knows and none of us are alone.

We aren't alone in the faith and in God's eyes.

Acts 11:23

23 When he arrived and saw what the grace of God had done, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts.


I encourage you with a challenge,
To act out in faith.
To encourage one another in the faith.
To share all what's on your heart with God and one another, so that you may be healed and renewed.

Follow the Lord your God for He is good!

Praying for you all.

PS. I know my writing is somewhat scattered in this, but I believe you'll get the jist of it.

In the journey of light and dark,

<3 Mak

Let it be for You.

Struggles.

What are they exactly in the eyes of God?
In my eyes?

Do they define who I am?

Do they shape my heart?

Is it all what helps me to differentiate between right and wrong?

What am I gaining?

What is it that I have loss?

When will I persevere?

When will I strive to unlearn?



When God...when will I know what is exactly my placement...
when will I know all that is right for me to pursue?



I know to praise You. To give all of my thanks...
Lord, I will not give up. I need the strength only you could give to me.
All I ask of You is strength to carry on.


Lord, I love You.



Let all that I learn to unlearn be all for You. Let all that I am in what I struggle be for You so that I may give You all the more praise, love, thanks, and glory.

May all that we ever write and go through in our lives, be for the glory and love of You.

Take the Advice!

Greetings my fellow friends.

Have you ever been that one person friends would go to you for advice or words of wisdom? Help of any sort?
I know I have.

I've really pondered over whether how much I've helped a person and made some sort of significant difference in their thoughts or choices.
I have no doubt that I have, but it doesn't hurt to wonder what more could I do for a person?
What more could I say that would go deeper than the very underlining of meaning?
What could I possibly partake in to know that I've made an impact that sticks?

In my past, I know I've said and partaken in a vast amount of tasks that by God has made a influential pact on my surroundings.

Yet, right now I've been blessed by the Lord to be able to help and guide others, especially pray for them. That's just a blessing to me knowing I can help in such a way.

Do my words of wisdom even stick?
I firmly believe the only way such words that I speak will cultivate in the lives of others is that they're Biblically based. Firmly, I trust that the Lord will speak through me to answer others prayers, concerns, and worries by blessing me with the words of encouragement and the actions of love, compassion, care, and kindness.

God has taught us to encourage and love one another. To take advice deep to the core of our very being and hold steadfast to the advice from God the Father.

“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:20-21 NIV

Lord has a purpose for His words of wisdom and what is spoken to you at the time it is during whatever one may be experiencing. It's His love and timing that prevails. It's His ways that prevails. It's His PLANS that prevail because they're made out to prosper you, never to harm who you are.

God loves you so much that His sent His only Son Jesus to die for our sins and this living Word in flesh taught us to accept and persevere.

James 1:2-12

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

The Lord has brought me stability and taught me to take advice for not only myself, but for others who are in need. That's just a piece of what I've gained in my God.
No longer do I just question certain aspects, but now I accept what it is, knowing God is the ultimate advice giver in our lives in all types of experiences and times.
Trust in the Lord, for He is His God. God said, "I will be your God and you will be my people."
He loves yinz so much. :)


The Lord will bring stability to your life if you just trust and look for advice, wisdom, guidance, and the fruit of the Spirit in Him.
In Him, you'll find serenity in your heart.

I pray that all of you take the advice of the Lord and follow in His pathways where He is a lamp to your very feet.

Praying for you all.

In the journey of faith in both light and dark--In Christ,

Mak

A commitment

A couple of years ago I attended this event called, "The Silver Ring Thing" and it was about saving our virginity, being pure in thoughts and acts, and to about waiting for our one true love.

I really agreed with what they had said and believed. Still do.

Well, in the program it shown a clip of a man and woman. Each wrote a letter to their beloved despite the fact they had no clue as to who their spouse would be that God would bless them with.

I have decided I'm going to do the same. I will indicate what it is that I promise to do and be for them.
I'm going to take my time in writing this letter to that man, but all I know is that God will bless us both.
God surely has someone out there for each person and I do not doubt His love, works, and timing. God is God and is the best.

I hope God will guide my thoughts in writing down my thoughts to be pure, honest, and pleasing in His sight for this man.

I also know, I will continuously pray for this man whoever or wherever he may be. I just know that whoever it is, I'm sure he's awesome in the eyes of God. :)

This is my plan and I don't want to fail this goal.

Hopefully, one day, I'll get to read or hand it to that person and know it's a precious apart of me that I'm handing to him that I hope he can cherish forever in knowing what I promise for him.

Other than that, yeah...it's a program that happened to inspire me this many years later..and I'm glad I had the chance to attend.

:)

I hope God gives you that special person in your life and that you both are pleasing in God eyes and chose to love/work hard in the eyes of God.
May God be with those people and all of His children for that matter. :)

Love,
Mak

Nothing Left to Lose.

Have you ever wondered if there was all the more to gain rather than lose?
Questions arise and have you been one of the few to wonder what it is that you could gain in this life?

Lately,
I've been wondering what it is that I could have to gain.

Rather than thinking, what it is that I have to lose?

I realized, I have nothing left to lose, but so much more to gain in life.

Though, I may have days where I feel there is nothing to that could possibly be gained from a certain experience or what it is that God is telling me...
I realized that God has given so much to gain and nothing exactly is a loss because what we've learned is that what God has given is always a gain.

We gain courage, strength, wisdom, understanding, patience, compassion, kindness, love, and peace in the ways of our God. He wants nothing more for us than to gain understanding in what we experience and how we communicate with others.
God has wired us to be social and loving.

God will put us through experiences not to consider anything a loss, but a gain.

Realize this,
God loves you so much that He gave His only Son, Jesus Christ to die for you, me, and everyone else so that we may have life.
So that we may gain what is God's purpose for us, to love one another as He has loved us, compassion, wisdom, understanding, courage, strength, and, honestly this list could go on.

I can't stress enough to you that God wanted nothing more for you than to live and to gain so much out of life because it was meant to be.


My brothers and sisters,
believe that God is there for you and has never left your side. He has a plan to not harm, but to prosper you.
Through Christ Jesus, you gain what was meant for you.
Take a chance on Him and He'll give you so much more than you could have ever expected.

I say this because I know what He can do for you out of what He has done for me.

I hope that all of you don't find this too scattered as a thought (because I know it's really scattered and not organized well at all), but you would gain something out of this because really,
you have nothing left to lose.

In the journey of faith in light and dark,
-Mak

I asked. I was answered.

This is where I will be honest because I am not sure what else I could possibly do:

1. I've been selfish lately with God. I've wanted something greater than just a friendship with a person...


Yet, despite prayers, I've also asked in those prayers that God would teach me patience through experience rather than just giving it to me because a great friend/mentor to me; Leslie, said that God doesn't just hand over patience....He teaches it.

Well, with her wisdom, she was correct. God certainly teaches about patience through experience rather than just giving it so freely.

Nothing is given so freely...it's a learning experience and through the experiences we become not only just wise, but we gain so much understanding of who God is, why He does what He does, and His timing altogether. We learn of His great love and patience with us while we can learn to be that way with not just Him too, but others.

God is good. That's all I will say. He's good.
He's helped me to realize that I need to appreciate the people in my life and never want more than what I have right away just because I feel comfortable.
I need to be able to step outside of the comfort zone and be okay...
I haven't learned that with some places, but I'm still in training.

God has blessed me with friendships that are so significant to me that I sometimes wonder why it is, why is it that very person, what does our relationship with one another mean? What does our faith mean with one another?

I've learned that faith comes first before. Christ first in everything.

God answered my prayers to this: patience....in what way? This way:
Story:
I've liked a person for awhile and decided to hint around the area of him knowing because I wanted to be honest with him, God, and my feelings.
A friend of mine who knew of the situation talked to him previously and found out he wanted a friendship because he cared too much about me that he didn't want to ruin that.
He told me this:
"You're my best friend...."
Me: "And you don't want to ruin that."
Him: "Exactly. You're my best friend...because I am able to be myself around you...geek out to the highest of degrees...I'm thankful for that."
Me: "I understand. I think that's why I like you, too, because I am able to nerd out with you...and everything...with complete confidence...and..."
We both stopped...and nodded...
Him: "Well this is awkward..."
Me: "yeah...a bit..."
We both went off to class saying see ya later..as we normally would...

He was shocked that I had seen him more than a friend...he didn't realize...certain things...

What can I do? I want a friendship more than nothing with him. He's a wonderful person with a great heart. I really admire the fact God has shown me that a friendship is better than anything that could possibly go to ruin.
He taught me...that patience in the area of "dating" is important. I shouldn't be searching. I need to be searching for understanding and greater things with God rather than a relationship and material things of this world.

All I can do is continuously thank God for the great friendships I've been blessed with and ask that He just blesses these people who are in my life.

I pray that the Lord will continue to show me what's in important in life and teach me to be the best friend that I can be to all people that are in my life.
That He would teach me patience through experience.
To be pure in my mind and heart, to not want things of this world, but to be all that He is.
I pray that the Lord does the very same for all of His people.
To have a friendship and relationship with the Lord is the best relationship ever and His love never ends.
He's the best.

May the Lord show you that the people in your life aren't a mistake, but rather a complete blessing no matter the type of relationship you have with them. To be patient with all kinds of relationships because we are all different and to love one another because He loved first.

Blessings on your day and weekend,

In the journey of faith in the light and dark,

-Mak

Doing Good to All. Be Thankful

Not too long ago, I had wrote a paper on how we had lived in a world that had consisted of, "Vitamins, Minerals and Diseases" due to the fact that is a metaphor on how I had forseen us as people living in this world that we were given to walk, and make ourselves a life on.

Frankly, we take ourselves and everything we have for granted. Look at what you have right now surrounding you. What do you see? A computer in front of your very face. A television? Food to fill your hunger. Water to quench your thirst. A book, for reading. School, for knowledge so that we may become something greater than what we would have thought...we'd never become, ever.
Then one may turn on the television to see; a child starving, with no home, no food, nothing compared to what you have been completely blessed with.
I constantly think to myself, what am I? I do not deserve one inch of this clothing that is clothed upon this very body of mine, nor do I deserve all this that is belonging to me in my very own home. What is it that I've become as a person? Who am I as a person, today? Who am I?
I want to challenge you as people, to think; Who have you become this Christmas. Who are you? I also want you to be VERY THANKFUL for what you have been blessed with because there are so many people out there unlike ourselves who do not possess a home, a family...not even a friend in the world to care about them. I think if we take the time to pray for those people out there, to volunteer at a local food bank, or anywhere to spare our Christmas to really see what it is like to get a taste of reality....I think we'd have a sense of being thankful for what we have in our lives.
I'm not sure of what I'd do without any of this...but a lot of this time in this very December I've really pondered the thought of; if these people out there who don't have what I have, are they maybe less selfish? Are they more thankful? Are they more faithful? Are they more forgiving? Are they more trusting in their God than we are, ourselves despite every single blessing we have, despite the more hardships they're facing?!
Think about it.
I just..really had come to ponder that. I believe those moments, had come for reality to strike me numerously in its own side by side moments.

Doing Good to All.
In this world, we really do have a hard time doing good to everyone we meet, even our enemies...our own friends, family members, you name it. It's difficult. I am guilty of it and so are you. Don't try to run from it, because you can not, so stop trying to..it really is pointless for you to try to. What is the point of trying to run from a burden that you carry on your heart when it'll just get heavier and heavier upon you? How can God forgive you when you can't forgive yourself or the other person in your sight? God is always a forgiving God, but seriously...how can He be forgiving when you can't forgive and forget. Shame. What a shame. Looks like that burden could be there awhile, yes? The right thing to do, atleast forgive the other person, instead of hold a grudge. I know that is hard, trust me I do. I've been there. Yet, the mature thing to do in this life we live is to forgive and forget...despite the forgetting will..take longer than forgiving; sadly.
"Love your enemies as you love yourself." Do it. It is immensely better than what you think. I have attempted this in several ways and it really has chisled me as a person in the heart...as much as the difficulty of the proccess was; God chisles the heart, mind and spirit. Fruit of the spirit is presented to you, sound great? It is, I suggest it to you, no...scratch that..GOD SUGGESTS IT. I'm simply someone who just...encourages you to attempt to get into God's word and reach for Him.
Listen to this:

Doing Good to All: Galatians 6:1-10
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.
Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share al good things with his instructor.
Do not be deceieved: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from the nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit from the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
Let us become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Now that's some powerful words of God, yes? I happened to open straight up to that very section in my Bible lastnight and it happened to really pierce my heart because I know I have struggled in an area of this, like so many others. I had felt compelled to share this in a note so that, we may as Brothers and Sisters in Christ, may share this lesson together to really learn from our mistakes in the world of sin to redeem from this, reach out to those who are struggling with the sinful nature of treating others unfairly, not with love, respect, nor doing good to others, or who are reaping a harvest that is leading to destruction rather than eternal life with our Savior.
Us as humans, face the struggle every where we go to do good unto others..we are constantly told throughout God's word to love one another, respect, do good unto others..you name it. Everything of Christ's actions of how He loved us...we are to show towards one another, yet we cease to do so! We are filthy sinners! Yet, we boast in Him when we are weak for that is when His power is sufficient. Awesome, right?

So, my next challenge for you to do in this life that we are ever so blessed AND given to...do good to others, share God's love...be kind. show the Spirit of the Fruit.
If you have that willing heart, mind and spirit, you would do it. It talks about hearts like ours that in the Bible, I know it does.
Let's be Transformers of this world, Transforming hearts, being a witness to not only a City of a Hill filled with believers, but non believers so that we may fulfill God's will, His loving ever so pleasing will.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".-the Lord

Messenger of the Message

The city is brightened, alightened upon my face
to see a gleam in you; just could not save me.
The Earth is just as immense, and meticulous as I've heard across the seas.
I've been not only across the states of each mind, but across the states of mind
where I've seen beyond the very imaginable.

To look upon the shores, will I amend the boat I sail alone?
Ran across the lands where they've forbidden your name is where
I'll be the messenger of your message of the answer to tell
of your great healings. Yet, the impossible is possible.

To look upon the shores, will I amend the boat I sail alone?
Ran across the lands where they've forbidden your name
is where I'll manage the impossible.

The wave of storms may lose me upon sea, never will I cease the
existence of my duty.
Accomplished is the message of the impossible.

By: Makaya Hicks (me)

Change of Confidence-כאשר החיים מותירה אותנו עיוורים, אהבה שמחזיק אותנו סוג

As this year has progressed I am slowly noticing how I am just a person with seasons.

Each season has either some significant or unnoticed meaning behind it. Whether it'd be the fact of how much I've grown to see who I am and who I want to be, rather not what the world wants from me...
or
trying to find where I stand as a person when in the sea of faces.

I've learned that the deeper our experiences are with any type of event in time or the people around us shapes us to think the way we do, why we do what we do, and why we chose to share interests, philosophies, beliefs...etc. Or why we chose to talk to a certain person.

Given, I have always asked myself, "what is it about this person that makes them stand out from everyone else that causes me to want to build a relationship.
(Now, when I say relationship, I mean, friendship that will be fruitful and meaningful).
Why do I share certain aspects of my life with the people that I do?

I think the one reason why we share what we chose and the way we seek a relationship is rather complicated.
We all have our different reasons, whether they'd be random or completely for a reason.

If anything I've learned about my time in college, attending huge events, hanging with friends that cause me to meet other existing humans, I've learned that...I can be rather, outgoing opposed to shy now.
I used to be this really shy person who was afraid of opening up about anything.
I still am trying to figure out what has caused me to become so more outgoing or open about talking to others.

I speak about this because this year I attended Otakon 2011 on staff and there was a few people I had talked to from working with last year who had claimed, "you're more..open it seems. Last year you were a bit closed up."
I think being told that makes me realize how much not only myself as a person can change personality wise, but how others can altogether.
I have come to observe the fact we all can change in little time as a year. Surprising, isn't it?
Fascinating it is to know how certain people or events can make such a huge impact on you to the point where one will go from completely closed to open.

To be completely frank, I am not completely positive on how I feel about this all. Besides thankful in the fact I have opened up.
Now that I really ponder about it all...
I don't regret anything that has shaped me who I am today, nor do I regret the people that have gone in and out of my life because I know it was for all a reason for the each of us in order to make us stronger and grow.

Reflecting on just how I've presented myself at Otakon compared to last year and this year...
slightly...different.
Last year I wasn't as confident about talking to people and just saying, "hey! what's up? I'm Makaya!"
Now,
I can say that I am completely confident about talking to others and just approaching anyone giving them compliments, talking about whatever, and just be willing to develop a relationship with each person.

In my opinion, I really feel that no one should be afraid to just develop a relationship with anyone out there in the world because we all deserve someone significant in life whether that would be family, friends, a significant other, or just that one person to talk to about whatever.

My goal is in life is not only to help people with my talents, but to grow in relationships with everyone showing that I am willing to give it my all for them and for the betterment of the people/society around me.
I feel that if I can make a difference in one person's life, I could make their day better and that's what I want to do.

All I want to do is...to make someone laugh, smile, and feel great about who they are and where they are in life despite the bad or good in life that was given to them.

I say this because I made a new friend who just...really makes me want to make a difference in their life. He opened up to me about certain aspects in life that weren't completely great for him, but he attempts his best to do what he can in life to get by, be happy, and be there for everyone. That's really inspirational to me because it's not often one may come across such a person.
What if we were all to be caring for each other despite where we stood economically and religion wise? What could happen? Where would you stand?

Life makes us completely blind as to what we are truly blessed with; people, food, and for all that we have in life, the disruptions are at great numbers that I cannot even begin to fathom over.

When life makes us blind, we tend not to think for others, but only ourselves and whether or not we'd be willing to make a difference in not only our lives, but others around us.
Yet, when we first learn to love, appreciate, and respect all that we are and what we have we learn to not let the bad or good cause us to go blind with our kindness because love makes us kind.

My goal is to continue on with the confidence I have about life and love to where I may be able to impact other lives with such an outlook that causes us want to be more than just who we are thought to be, but to be something so significant that we love out of kindness without fear to fault of blindness to what we have in life and who a person may be and accept them for all that they are no matter what the differences may be.
(That sentence is such.......a long sentence..grammar/sentence structure fail)


All I can say is, live the life you have with confidence out of love and kindness...then you will see a difference in not only who you are, but how others see you, too.

-In the adventure of light and darkness
-Makaya

PS: Never think that change is a bad thing, it's only for the best to make one strong and wise.

He has called us out of darkness.

As I sit here contemplating about my faith in Jesus Christ, I really do adore Him.
Yet, I struggle with sin daily and it's been awhile since I've really come back around to my faith and disciplining my self.

For awhile here in MI, I've been really struggling to pray to God, praise Him, go to church, and focus on what is really the true prize in life, our Lord and Savior, Jesus.
Yes, I have felt completely guilty and did nothing about it. The longer it stayed, I really just ignored God and the fact He's trying to lead my pathways.
I wonder...why? Why did I do that? I don't understand why I would have ever wanted to leave God, what He has called me to do, and ministry all together.

It is so often that we are called by God to do great things in His kingdom and we end up leaving that calling, pursuing what we like to do or we get impatient with what He has called us for! I have seen this happen before my eyes and it's so sad.
You know why this happens? Satan. Satan will do anything to be sure that we are not serving our God and gloryfying Him and pursuing His will! Satan will put any option out there in front of us, glamorizing it, which calls us to think, "Oh, this is cool. Maybe...God would want me there instead?" If God wanted you in a certain place in your life, He'll take you there...and place you in that location.

I think that's what we often...get confused about with God. We are so blinded by sin that we think it's actually God calling us to that certain aspect in life that calls us to believe, "Yes, God has sent me here." When really...are you leaving God's placement when -you- decide, "I want to pursue, (insert whatever here)and God gave me this talent, so I should go for it."
God KNOWS you better than anyone else and KNOWS your greatest talents...He will place you a section of your life for you to realize your greatest talents that He has given you so that you may lead a life according to Him and pursuing His will, that will protect and provide for you! If you leave that...wouldn't it cause some type of complication?
Frankly, I am not sure what it will cause, but what we can know and trust in is the fact our God provides, protects, loves us...and will never leave our side no matter what we endure in life because He loves us that much.

We are a chosen generation that was called according to HIS will, not ours. Sometimes, I face and have faced sections in this past year where I have felt completely worthless about ministry and God's will. Confusion and frustration has surrounded me, blinding me what the beauty of pain could really be.
Now that everything just keeps tying together, the realization of pain can be pure beauty in God's eyes because...everything always works out with God and the life we live for Him. He redeems us from all of the confusion and frustrations we face, calling us out of that darkness, reassuring His promise for us. He also reassures that He will provide wisdom and things that are so much greater in life rather than the materialistic aspects that blind us.

I have faced this section of my life enduring the fact of Sam not returning to Concordia to continue his LTD, which leaves me here. I have faced a part me feeling, I couldn't make it through college without him by my side because he is an important person in my life that I was always around. The fact he just had to leave and everything changed.
Yet, this change made me realize...I don't need to be just hanging out with Sam. I have all these friends; brothers/sisters in Christ that love me, I love them, and God has provided me these people in my life to learn from and to provide for them, share the faith, fight the good fight, and continue on with where God has placed me.
I felt that, Sam gone, I would be so lonely, and I had my days where I did indeed, feel that way.
What I learned is...the more I got out of my room, pursued school work, working 3 jobs, and tried my best to be there for Sam, others, while balancing everything, God was there the whole time.
I was praying that God would give me wisdom to help Sam and patience. Oh, He definitely has.
He also made me realize that...I can't help everyone and I need to let HIM do the healing. He has taught me more patience than I could imagine and the fact...I can be around all kinds of people and not 'break.'
What I've gone through, has just opened my eyes so much today. Why would God exactly have me endure what I have?
To make me perservere, grow in the faith, accept what I can and can't do, patience, what it means to love, grow in wisdom and knowledge of not only Him, but the 'real' important factors in life around me.
He has taught me, "You are here because of my calling for you, out of darkness, into the beauty of my kingdom, and for you to live in the will I have for you."

Confusion, arose about His will for me so many times this past year. I had sat here, thinking, "God, what do you want out of me? What do you want from me? What is it that, You are calling me to do?! I'm so lost. I need Your guidance!"
My eyes have filled with tears and fear filled me...
God wants me here, taking one step at a time, living for Him, living as if today were the day He was coming back, pursuing every little bit of my life all for the glory of Him and the promise He has told us about.
He doesn't want me to think of all these thoughts of where my life is going to go, how I'm going to provide for myself and my family, how I'm going to survive college, etc.
God provides everything, why should I worry? What is it that I should worry about whenever I have a God who does such as that. Reassuring His love and guidance to me. Him, being the lamp to my pathways...

God has spoken to us, telling us, "I'll be by your side." "I will provide for you." "I'll be the lamp to your pathways." "Do not worry, I will provide everything you will ever need."
I mean, those are just summaries...though, that doesn't defeat the purpose of what I am saying to you from our God.
God...holds us up in the palm of His right hand, when we need Him the most. In the times of all darkness, He leads us back into the light, giving us life!

How awesome is He? I feel a bit bad that I've ever ran from God, but what I can reassure all of you on, in my own relationship/faith with Him, is that...there wasn't a moment He has forsaken me, because He won't do that. He loves me too much, just as much as He loves you!
You follow him, you'll live your life in the light that He shines on you.
There wasn't a moment that He did not lead me back.
God has this funny way of leading me back into the light of Him and I'll sit here thinking, "God, you are so cool. You...are sometimes..shocking, but You're the best."
Such as today,
this morning, after a bit, I had made myself breakfast, thanking Him for the food, and asking for a blessing, "The Chronicles of Narnia" was on.
It had come to the section where Aslan was sacrificed on the stone table, that whole entire section of ridicule, and being killed by the witch.
That made me become teary eyed, and it reminds me of what Jesus has gone through. Given, I'm sure it was an allegory written by C.S. Lewis to reflect Jesus's ridicule, and sacrifice on the cross.
Then, Aslan's resurrection being an allegory of Jesus's resurrection, is so cool!
I felt, happy. I thought of Jesus in that way, and watched the battle of the fight for Narnia.
That scene made me think of the fight we are giving out for God. Fighting the darkness of Satan and sin, rescuing all those out of darkness into the light of Jesus, so that they may have life and salvation in Him.

Those few scenes, I feel God has used to make me realize and remind me of what His calling is for me as a disciple. Especially giving me the reassurance of how He rose from the dead, conquering death and sin, letting me know, I can conquer sin because I am more than that with God by my side.

I prayed for forgiveness, wisdom, and guidance on how I could live a better life for Him, not fearing what could come in my pathway leading me to believe what I do believe of our God. He lead me to His word, giving me serenity in my heart, clearing my mind to focus on Him and how I could really reach out to all of You.

My brothers and sisters, we are more than what we've done, we are so much more in God's eyes. With God our on side, we can fight this battle between light and dark, learning what we need to do to live our lives all out for the glory of Him.

We all endure similar experiences, but through these experiences, we grow immensely in God.
We can grow with each other, guiding, praying, loving, and being that mere reflection of Christ for each other and for Him because He has called us out the darkness to do so.
We are called out of darkness, to have His eyes for humanity..to love and care for.

Together, we can defeat the darkness in this battle with God on our side.
Look at it as if we were the citizens of Narnia, fighting for what we believe and doing this all for Aslan and all the others living in the world of Narnia.

We are human who do have the strength to fight for the creation of God, what God has promised us, and with the Almighty God on our side, we can do this.

Continue on, brothers and sisters, fighting for what we believe and for the God who has saved you from yourself.
We have the eyes and heart of Him, with these, we can rescue the lost.
Don't give up. He has called you for this and the fear you feel is only from Satan, not your God. God provides you with peace and serenity. Let Him fill you with His Spirit filling you with strength and endurance.
You can do this.
I can do this.
WE can conquer this.

Praises to the God who has rescued us and promised us life!

9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

Up, Down, Turnaround...spinning, running...away?

This weekend is Jr. High Tool Time. Well, I have volunteered to be a Small Group Leader and host some of those fellow younglings.
Must I say, I am not that prepared.
The room is a mess and so is the bathroom. I have dishes to clean, as well. *sigh*
Oh, did I mention, I am not all that sure if I am prepared like I was last time, spiritually?

I guess, with younger age group, I do tend to become a bit more nervous than the older youth only because I feel I can relate and communicate on a more adult level with those youth. Probably, due to the fact they're more near my age...who knows?
Anyways, also, I have come to the conclusion that I do not feel as spiritually prepared for such an event because I have not been attending chapel, church, offerings, compline, anything that church related. It's very solemn that I even attend devotions, due to the fact I am either; 1. Working, 2. With either Sam or friends, 3. Working on homework.
It's pretty disappointing. On Sunday's, I could walk up to St. Paul's, yet, I don't. Due to the fact, I don't really have anyone to attend with and Sam usually sleeps in as it is now...despite, he used to attend quite often.
I just feel so...spiritually unprepared.
I have the willingness in me to do this ministry, but I do not think I should be a small group leader if I am not, 'up to par', so to speak, with my own spiritual life whenever I'll be sitting there lecturing about how these kids need to incorporate Jesus into their lives, and have that strong foundation of reading the Word, confirming what they know about Him and what He has done for us as sinners, etc. You know?
Maybe I am not the only one feeling this way.
I surely do not want to be doing this just to level up my faith in a way to participate in ministry because I am currently weak. Obviously, I would want to ease into my relationship with Christ in a methodological way, such as; praying, going to devos, reading His word on my own time, and attending Chapel/Church...just the basics of getting back into my relationship and communication with Christ, rather than participating in some ministry to just strengthen back up.
Though, this weekend there is worship, prayer, and reading His word...to strengthen the faith of everyone, but I'd rather do it all on my own before participating with others....maybe this is just me afraid or feeling selfish?
I do not know, nor do I wish to risk any false information given to youth...that scares me.
I was a small group leader last semester at Tool Time with both Jr/Sr. high youth and that was spectacular. It was...a very great weekend. Firmly, I believe that the presence of God was working through everyone there, especially the fellow younglings.
This is just probably me doubting my own self...I tend to do that when I become nervous;
but this is like what Jesus wanted us to do whenever He had asked Peter to step out onto the water...it's like Jesus asking me to step out of my comfort zone and work with others who I am not as comfortable with. This is His calling for me as of right now...not my own. I am doing this as a servant hood in the name of Jesus and in the example of Peter and the storm, stepping out into the waters, having faith in Him, because really, it's all I can do...
just as you all can do, too.

I feel today is just a day for praying the fact, it's okay to be afraid at times, but we also need to remember, we need to trust in our God and have faith in Him...especially for all the blessings He does for us..
A blessing from God is how He takes out of our comfort zones and works through us to communicate to all of His people and uses our talents to help others in His holy name...how awesome is that?! Pretty darn awesomesaucetastical.

Therefore, for today, remember how God is taking you out of your comfort zone and using you! Yes, you! How is He using you today so far?

Pray for everyone!

<3 Mak

Pressing On

Out of everything I could have ever observed with the people I am very close with or even just surrounded by...
it is often noticed by me that people do have the difficulty of just pressing on with their lives because they are so easily scarred by the little events or mistakes they have made in their lives daily.
Why is this?
Why does one make it so difficult on themselves to just live? Why are do you make it so hard to just live whenever Jesus sacrificed His life for you to actually live a life full of REAL life.
Given, we are only human and filthy sinners, but God loves us the same no matter what we have done, therefore, this is why we have repentance and must press on to the finish line to the Lord who has called us His own, to the real home; Heaven.

Whenever I think about pressing on, I don't simply think about 'moving' on, but it's simply realizing where I've gone wrong, what can I do in my own heart and mind to repent, fix my own heart before even setting out to help others in the name of our Lord.
Firmly, it is that I believe we are to fix our own hearts and minds to repent to the Lord that has saved us before we would ever feel the call to help one another in areas of difficulty. Speak this as I do because it is so often we as a people are out there in the 'mission field' serving out to others trying to fix their wrongs when we have the exact or similar wrong in our own hearts. Why is that? We do that to make our own lives feel immensely better and it's a confidence/ego boost.
Now, I am not saying I have never done that, certainly I have. I'd much rather not do so any longer, but rather, examine and articulate the factors of what it is God wishes for me to do in this life to glorify Him in the deepest ways known to man so that we are all seeing our God in the biggest ways and observing our God in ways that we wouldn't even begin to fathom over.
What is it that really has initiated to write about this? Obviously, not just the Spirit working through me, but I have a friend.
My friend, he graduated from here and well, I often hear stories about how he doesn't want to minister to do children, but only youth, and he has complained about the poor. Also, complained about certain aspects of the government, money management, and just the way work has been for him, overall.
Frankly, I do not know where he is standing nor all of his story, but God does. To hear how he complains, and I've heard him in person tell me about such...in ways I can understand the frustrations of not having a job in church work after graduating a couple years ago when told of a job, but feeling the weights of life financially...this is where my friend has possibly lost faith in knowing;
1. God provides. My dear friend, do not lose hope nor faith in knowing your God provides for you and has He not told you this? Has your God not told you that He would provide you with a roof over the top of your head, your daily bread, and so much more beyond what you'd imagine? My friend! You're blind! He has surely blessed you, and as afraid as I am, but you're so blind to these many blessings from your loving God!
Do not lose faith and love for the God that loves you so much. He surely takes care in you. All you must do is Trust in Him and He will listen for you and you listen for Him.
2. Where is your church? My friend, I have noticed and heard that your attendance at church has been decreasing. Life is difficult, yes, this I know. I may not understand it the way you do, but what I do know is, I care about your salvation. Friend, do not stop attending church. Keep strong in the faith. Your God will feed you wisdom and comfort. Why run when He stays by the side of you? He is ever so still. Be still, and He shall take control. God is in control, let Him take control of the life you live and you will be on great comfort under His protection. Do not lose trust in this, I tell you. I tell you, because I love you, my brother. You are my brother in Christ, I am here to help you and I come to help you in the name of our Almighty Father.

3. I see fear in you. What is it that you fear? I do not know your life story, nor have I known you for a long time, but what I do know is that, I read fear. This fear comes from what you've built upon from sin. Brother! Do not fall! I see you falling! Let God catch you! Take His hand and He will catch you from all great discomfort and hold you up!
I say this out of experience. I share such advice for I have experienced such discomfort and I've been in your place of being 'lost.' No need to be lost, come out of that darkness into the light. The light shines on you decreasing all darkness, for you are a new creation. Remember your baptism, my friend. You're a new creation by God! God loves you, you are His.
Do not fear God. God wishes only a great life for you and my friend, Jesus saved you because God loved you so much that He gave His only son for our sins! That's an infinite love! Everlasting love! Do not lose trust and faith in this. Do not fear the guidance of God. God will guide your pathways and will hold you up with His righteous hand.
Trust in all of this and you will see Him in new ways. It's amazing.



Life is hard, life is easy, life comes at you both ways, but no matter what we were given life through the son of our God. We were given life through Jesus Christ, our Lord because He died for not only my sins, but your sins, too.
How amazing is such love?
Sometimes, it's an amazing love that I can't begin to describe just how blessed and happy I am to know I have a God that loves all of us so much and has shared the ability to love His people through me. I begin to thank God for that.

All of you who read this, my friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, do not let life bring you down no matter how difficult it gets. Press on. I observe how difficult life is in different ways for my friends in numerous ways, it makes me lament for them, yet, I have faith knowing our God will provide and keep you all strong. Do not lose faith in God and what He has promised you. He is there for you. Keep strong.
Press on to the finish line to our God. He is the true prize that you truly yearn for.

ACTS 20:24
24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

Fight the good fight friends by pressing on so that you may be able to say as Timothy said in the eyes of God,

2 Timothy 4:7
7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.


I'm praying for all of you to keep the faith, to fight well by pressing on through the hardships of both dark and light of our journeys in faith, and finishing this race.

<3 Mak