As this year has progressed I am slowly noticing how I am just a person with seasons.
Each season has either some significant or unnoticed meaning behind it. Whether it'd be the fact of how much I've grown to see who I am and who I want to be, rather not what the world wants from me...
or
trying to find where I stand as a person when in the sea of faces.
I've learned that the deeper our experiences are with any type of event in time or the people around us shapes us to think the way we do, why we do what we do, and why we chose to share interests, philosophies, beliefs...etc. Or why we chose to talk to a certain person.
Given, I have always asked myself, "what is it about this person that makes them stand out from everyone else that causes me to want to build a relationship.
(Now, when I say relationship, I mean, friendship that will be fruitful and meaningful).
Why do I share certain aspects of my life with the people that I do?
I think the one reason why we share what we chose and the way we seek a relationship is rather complicated.
We all have our different reasons, whether they'd be random or completely for a reason.
If anything I've learned about my time in college, attending huge events, hanging with friends that cause me to meet other existing humans, I've learned that...I can be rather, outgoing opposed to shy now.
I used to be this really shy person who was afraid of opening up about anything.
I still am trying to figure out what has caused me to become so more outgoing or open about talking to others.
I speak about this because this year I attended Otakon 2011 on staff and there was a few people I had talked to from working with last year who had claimed, "you're more..open it seems. Last year you were a bit closed up."
I think being told that makes me realize how much not only myself as a person can change personality wise, but how others can altogether.
I have come to observe the fact we all can change in little time as a year. Surprising, isn't it?
Fascinating it is to know how certain people or events can make such a huge impact on you to the point where one will go from completely closed to open.
To be completely frank, I am not completely positive on how I feel about this all. Besides thankful in the fact I have opened up.
Now that I really ponder about it all...
I don't regret anything that has shaped me who I am today, nor do I regret the people that have gone in and out of my life because I know it was for all a reason for the each of us in order to make us stronger and grow.
Reflecting on just how I've presented myself at Otakon compared to last year and this year...
slightly...different.
Last year I wasn't as confident about talking to people and just saying, "hey! what's up? I'm Makaya!"
Now,
I can say that I am completely confident about talking to others and just approaching anyone giving them compliments, talking about whatever, and just be willing to develop a relationship with each person.
In my opinion, I really feel that no one should be afraid to just develop a relationship with anyone out there in the world because we all deserve someone significant in life whether that would be family, friends, a significant other, or just that one person to talk to about whatever.
My goal is in life is not only to help people with my talents, but to grow in relationships with everyone showing that I am willing to give it my all for them and for the betterment of the people/society around me.
I feel that if I can make a difference in one person's life, I could make their day better and that's what I want to do.
All I want to do is...to make someone laugh, smile, and feel great about who they are and where they are in life despite the bad or good in life that was given to them.
I say this because I made a new friend who just...really makes me want to make a difference in their life. He opened up to me about certain aspects in life that weren't completely great for him, but he attempts his best to do what he can in life to get by, be happy, and be there for everyone. That's really inspirational to me because it's not often one may come across such a person.
What if we were all to be caring for each other despite where we stood economically and religion wise? What could happen? Where would you stand?
Life makes us completely blind as to what we are truly blessed with; people, food, and for all that we have in life, the disruptions are at great numbers that I cannot even begin to fathom over.
When life makes us blind, we tend not to think for others, but only ourselves and whether or not we'd be willing to make a difference in not only our lives, but others around us.
Yet, when we first learn to love, appreciate, and respect all that we are and what we have we learn to not let the bad or good cause us to go blind with our kindness because love makes us kind.
My goal is to continue on with the confidence I have about life and love to where I may be able to impact other lives with such an outlook that causes us want to be more than just who we are thought to be, but to be something so significant that we love out of kindness without fear to fault of blindness to what we have in life and who a person may be and accept them for all that they are no matter what the differences may be.
(That sentence is such.......a long sentence..grammar/sentence structure fail)
All I can say is, live the life you have with confidence out of love and kindness...then you will see a difference in not only who you are, but how others see you, too.
-In the adventure of light and darkness
-Makaya
PS: Never think that change is a bad thing, it's only for the best to make one strong and wise.
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