I have thoughts...
I just do not know how to organize them in files. My brain does not contain file holders for each set of thought and the particular category that thought would fall under.
How do I organize my time?
How will I organize my work?
Is my work even effective in the life of others?
Is anything I do effective in the lives surrounding me? How am I to be effective and what makes me effective?
Not all what I learn, but how I use what I learn, and my experiences tied together, and how I deliver that. What makes me effective as a person, is my God. My God makes me effective to society to make a difference, it isn't me alone. I can do nothing alone. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
What makes my faith actually exist? I have faith, yes. Is there a way I can make my faith an extension to a faith shaper in other's lives? How am I a faith shaper in another person's life? How have I changed that life or my own in faith and in our relationships with Jesus Christ?
Will I have the courage to step out and do the right thing no matter what I may face out in the 'mission field'? I am constantly in a battle and the battle only seems to get a bit worse each time. What is making me stronger, not faith alone, but God?
Why is it I am one of the few who feel I can relate to someone so easily and find that person so genuine and another can not?
How is it God uses me for ministry at times and I don't even know how I have actually influenced that person, but yet, when I find out I've impacted their lives so infinitely, I still don't understand what I exactly have done...how is that??
I don't get it.
Sometimes, God uses people who have the guts to really stand up for what they truly believe what is right and who aren't afraid to step out in faith for Him, to make a difference in other's lives...I just sometimes never realize, I have the guts, but don't always apply it.
Yet, when I've stepped out in faith, helped out other people, acted out on what I think Jesus would have done, and what I know is right Biblically and everything, and I try to be an example of Christ, I shine...maybe God is really telling me...ministry is for me...and I'm too blind to always see that.
Maybe God really wants to work through me in infinite ways and I'm always running from it because I fear. Fear is insecurity, if I'm insecure, where is my faith? Where is my faith in God, then?
"Who should I fear, when I have God?" Do not be insecure, you have God. God is an Almighty, powerful, merciful God who loves. Therefore, do not worry. Just trust and have faith.
Lose the insecurity, and be secure. "my heart secure"-is with Jesus.
-<3 Mak
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