This weekend is Jr. High Tool Time. Well, I have volunteered to be a Small Group Leader and host some of those fellow younglings.
Must I say, I am not that prepared.
The room is a mess and so is the bathroom. I have dishes to clean, as well. *sigh*
Oh, did I mention, I am not all that sure if I am prepared like I was last time, spiritually?
I guess, with younger age group, I do tend to become a bit more nervous than the older youth only because I feel I can relate and communicate on a more adult level with those youth. Probably, due to the fact they're more near my age...who knows?
Anyways, also, I have come to the conclusion that I do not feel as spiritually prepared for such an event because I have not been attending chapel, church, offerings, compline, anything that church related. It's very solemn that I even attend devotions, due to the fact I am either; 1. Working, 2. With either Sam or friends, 3. Working on homework.
It's pretty disappointing. On Sunday's, I could walk up to St. Paul's, yet, I don't. Due to the fact, I don't really have anyone to attend with and Sam usually sleeps in as it is now...despite, he used to attend quite often.
I just feel so...spiritually unprepared.
I have the willingness in me to do this ministry, but I do not think I should be a small group leader if I am not, 'up to par', so to speak, with my own spiritual life whenever I'll be sitting there lecturing about how these kids need to incorporate Jesus into their lives, and have that strong foundation of reading the Word, confirming what they know about Him and what He has done for us as sinners, etc. You know?
Maybe I am not the only one feeling this way.
I surely do not want to be doing this just to level up my faith in a way to participate in ministry because I am currently weak. Obviously, I would want to ease into my relationship with Christ in a methodological way, such as; praying, going to devos, reading His word on my own time, and attending Chapel/Church...just the basics of getting back into my relationship and communication with Christ, rather than participating in some ministry to just strengthen back up.
Though, this weekend there is worship, prayer, and reading His word...to strengthen the faith of everyone, but I'd rather do it all on my own before participating with others....maybe this is just me afraid or feeling selfish?
I do not know, nor do I wish to risk any false information given to youth...that scares me.
I was a small group leader last semester at Tool Time with both Jr/Sr. high youth and that was spectacular. It was...a very great weekend. Firmly, I believe that the presence of God was working through everyone there, especially the fellow younglings.
This is just probably me doubting my own self...I tend to do that when I become nervous;
but this is like what Jesus wanted us to do whenever He had asked Peter to step out onto the water...it's like Jesus asking me to step out of my comfort zone and work with others who I am not as comfortable with. This is His calling for me as of right now...not my own. I am doing this as a servant hood in the name of Jesus and in the example of Peter and the storm, stepping out into the waters, having faith in Him, because really, it's all I can do...
just as you all can do, too.
I feel today is just a day for praying the fact, it's okay to be afraid at times, but we also need to remember, we need to trust in our God and have faith in Him...especially for all the blessings He does for us..
A blessing from God is how He takes out of our comfort zones and works through us to communicate to all of His people and uses our talents to help others in His holy name...how awesome is that?! Pretty darn awesomesaucetastical.
Therefore, for today, remember how God is taking you out of your comfort zone and using you! Yes, you! How is He using you today so far?
Pray for everyone!
<3 Mak
Friday, March 18, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Pressing On
Out of everything I could have ever observed with the people I am very close with or even just surrounded by...
it is often noticed by me that people do have the difficulty of just pressing on with their lives because they are so easily scarred by the little events or mistakes they have made in their lives daily.
Why is this?
Why does one make it so difficult on themselves to just live? Why are do you make it so hard to just live whenever Jesus sacrificed His life for you to actually live a life full of REAL life.
Given, we are only human and filthy sinners, but God loves us the same no matter what we have done, therefore, this is why we have repentance and must press on to the finish line to the Lord who has called us His own, to the real home; Heaven.
Whenever I think about pressing on, I don't simply think about 'moving' on, but it's simply realizing where I've gone wrong, what can I do in my own heart and mind to repent, fix my own heart before even setting out to help others in the name of our Lord.
Firmly, it is that I believe we are to fix our own hearts and minds to repent to the Lord that has saved us before we would ever feel the call to help one another in areas of difficulty. Speak this as I do because it is so often we as a people are out there in the 'mission field' serving out to others trying to fix their wrongs when we have the exact or similar wrong in our own hearts. Why is that? We do that to make our own lives feel immensely better and it's a confidence/ego boost.
Now, I am not saying I have never done that, certainly I have. I'd much rather not do so any longer, but rather, examine and articulate the factors of what it is God wishes for me to do in this life to glorify Him in the deepest ways known to man so that we are all seeing our God in the biggest ways and observing our God in ways that we wouldn't even begin to fathom over.
What is it that really has initiated to write about this? Obviously, not just the Spirit working through me, but I have a friend.
My friend, he graduated from here and well, I often hear stories about how he doesn't want to minister to do children, but only youth, and he has complained about the poor. Also, complained about certain aspects of the government, money management, and just the way work has been for him, overall.
Frankly, I do not know where he is standing nor all of his story, but God does. To hear how he complains, and I've heard him in person tell me about such...in ways I can understand the frustrations of not having a job in church work after graduating a couple years ago when told of a job, but feeling the weights of life financially...this is where my friend has possibly lost faith in knowing;
1. God provides. My dear friend, do not lose hope nor faith in knowing your God provides for you and has He not told you this? Has your God not told you that He would provide you with a roof over the top of your head, your daily bread, and so much more beyond what you'd imagine? My friend! You're blind! He has surely blessed you, and as afraid as I am, but you're so blind to these many blessings from your loving God!
Do not lose faith and love for the God that loves you so much. He surely takes care in you. All you must do is Trust in Him and He will listen for you and you listen for Him.
2. Where is your church? My friend, I have noticed and heard that your attendance at church has been decreasing. Life is difficult, yes, this I know. I may not understand it the way you do, but what I do know is, I care about your salvation. Friend, do not stop attending church. Keep strong in the faith. Your God will feed you wisdom and comfort. Why run when He stays by the side of you? He is ever so still. Be still, and He shall take control. God is in control, let Him take control of the life you live and you will be on great comfort under His protection. Do not lose trust in this, I tell you. I tell you, because I love you, my brother. You are my brother in Christ, I am here to help you and I come to help you in the name of our Almighty Father.
3. I see fear in you. What is it that you fear? I do not know your life story, nor have I known you for a long time, but what I do know is that, I read fear. This fear comes from what you've built upon from sin. Brother! Do not fall! I see you falling! Let God catch you! Take His hand and He will catch you from all great discomfort and hold you up!
I say this out of experience. I share such advice for I have experienced such discomfort and I've been in your place of being 'lost.' No need to be lost, come out of that darkness into the light. The light shines on you decreasing all darkness, for you are a new creation. Remember your baptism, my friend. You're a new creation by God! God loves you, you are His.
Do not fear God. God wishes only a great life for you and my friend, Jesus saved you because God loved you so much that He gave His only son for our sins! That's an infinite love! Everlasting love! Do not lose trust and faith in this. Do not fear the guidance of God. God will guide your pathways and will hold you up with His righteous hand.
Trust in all of this and you will see Him in new ways. It's amazing.
Life is hard, life is easy, life comes at you both ways, but no matter what we were given life through the son of our God. We were given life through Jesus Christ, our Lord because He died for not only my sins, but your sins, too.
How amazing is such love?
Sometimes, it's an amazing love that I can't begin to describe just how blessed and happy I am to know I have a God that loves all of us so much and has shared the ability to love His people through me. I begin to thank God for that.
All of you who read this, my friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, do not let life bring you down no matter how difficult it gets. Press on. I observe how difficult life is in different ways for my friends in numerous ways, it makes me lament for them, yet, I have faith knowing our God will provide and keep you all strong. Do not lose faith in God and what He has promised you. He is there for you. Keep strong.
Press on to the finish line to our God. He is the true prize that you truly yearn for.
ACTS 20:24
24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.
Fight the good fight friends by pressing on so that you may be able to say as Timothy said in the eyes of God,
2 Timothy 4:7
7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
I'm praying for all of you to keep the faith, to fight well by pressing on through the hardships of both dark and light of our journeys in faith, and finishing this race.
<3 Mak
it is often noticed by me that people do have the difficulty of just pressing on with their lives because they are so easily scarred by the little events or mistakes they have made in their lives daily.
Why is this?
Why does one make it so difficult on themselves to just live? Why are do you make it so hard to just live whenever Jesus sacrificed His life for you to actually live a life full of REAL life.
Given, we are only human and filthy sinners, but God loves us the same no matter what we have done, therefore, this is why we have repentance and must press on to the finish line to the Lord who has called us His own, to the real home; Heaven.
Whenever I think about pressing on, I don't simply think about 'moving' on, but it's simply realizing where I've gone wrong, what can I do in my own heart and mind to repent, fix my own heart before even setting out to help others in the name of our Lord.
Firmly, it is that I believe we are to fix our own hearts and minds to repent to the Lord that has saved us before we would ever feel the call to help one another in areas of difficulty. Speak this as I do because it is so often we as a people are out there in the 'mission field' serving out to others trying to fix their wrongs when we have the exact or similar wrong in our own hearts. Why is that? We do that to make our own lives feel immensely better and it's a confidence/ego boost.
Now, I am not saying I have never done that, certainly I have. I'd much rather not do so any longer, but rather, examine and articulate the factors of what it is God wishes for me to do in this life to glorify Him in the deepest ways known to man so that we are all seeing our God in the biggest ways and observing our God in ways that we wouldn't even begin to fathom over.
What is it that really has initiated to write about this? Obviously, not just the Spirit working through me, but I have a friend.
My friend, he graduated from here and well, I often hear stories about how he doesn't want to minister to do children, but only youth, and he has complained about the poor. Also, complained about certain aspects of the government, money management, and just the way work has been for him, overall.
Frankly, I do not know where he is standing nor all of his story, but God does. To hear how he complains, and I've heard him in person tell me about such...in ways I can understand the frustrations of not having a job in church work after graduating a couple years ago when told of a job, but feeling the weights of life financially...this is where my friend has possibly lost faith in knowing;
1. God provides. My dear friend, do not lose hope nor faith in knowing your God provides for you and has He not told you this? Has your God not told you that He would provide you with a roof over the top of your head, your daily bread, and so much more beyond what you'd imagine? My friend! You're blind! He has surely blessed you, and as afraid as I am, but you're so blind to these many blessings from your loving God!
Do not lose faith and love for the God that loves you so much. He surely takes care in you. All you must do is Trust in Him and He will listen for you and you listen for Him.
2. Where is your church? My friend, I have noticed and heard that your attendance at church has been decreasing. Life is difficult, yes, this I know. I may not understand it the way you do, but what I do know is, I care about your salvation. Friend, do not stop attending church. Keep strong in the faith. Your God will feed you wisdom and comfort. Why run when He stays by the side of you? He is ever so still. Be still, and He shall take control. God is in control, let Him take control of the life you live and you will be on great comfort under His protection. Do not lose trust in this, I tell you. I tell you, because I love you, my brother. You are my brother in Christ, I am here to help you and I come to help you in the name of our Almighty Father.
3. I see fear in you. What is it that you fear? I do not know your life story, nor have I known you for a long time, but what I do know is that, I read fear. This fear comes from what you've built upon from sin. Brother! Do not fall! I see you falling! Let God catch you! Take His hand and He will catch you from all great discomfort and hold you up!
I say this out of experience. I share such advice for I have experienced such discomfort and I've been in your place of being 'lost.' No need to be lost, come out of that darkness into the light. The light shines on you decreasing all darkness, for you are a new creation. Remember your baptism, my friend. You're a new creation by God! God loves you, you are His.
Do not fear God. God wishes only a great life for you and my friend, Jesus saved you because God loved you so much that He gave His only son for our sins! That's an infinite love! Everlasting love! Do not lose trust and faith in this. Do not fear the guidance of God. God will guide your pathways and will hold you up with His righteous hand.
Trust in all of this and you will see Him in new ways. It's amazing.
Life is hard, life is easy, life comes at you both ways, but no matter what we were given life through the son of our God. We were given life through Jesus Christ, our Lord because He died for not only my sins, but your sins, too.
How amazing is such love?
Sometimes, it's an amazing love that I can't begin to describe just how blessed and happy I am to know I have a God that loves all of us so much and has shared the ability to love His people through me. I begin to thank God for that.
All of you who read this, my friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, do not let life bring you down no matter how difficult it gets. Press on. I observe how difficult life is in different ways for my friends in numerous ways, it makes me lament for them, yet, I have faith knowing our God will provide and keep you all strong. Do not lose faith in God and what He has promised you. He is there for you. Keep strong.
Press on to the finish line to our God. He is the true prize that you truly yearn for.
ACTS 20:24
24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.
Fight the good fight friends by pressing on so that you may be able to say as Timothy said in the eyes of God,
2 Timothy 4:7
7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
I'm praying for all of you to keep the faith, to fight well by pressing on through the hardships of both dark and light of our journeys in faith, and finishing this race.
<3 Mak
Friday, March 4, 2011
thoughts thoughts and more thoughts
I have thoughts...
I just do not know how to organize them in files. My brain does not contain file holders for each set of thought and the particular category that thought would fall under.
How do I organize my time?
How will I organize my work?
Is my work even effective in the life of others?
Is anything I do effective in the lives surrounding me? How am I to be effective and what makes me effective?
Not all what I learn, but how I use what I learn, and my experiences tied together, and how I deliver that. What makes me effective as a person, is my God. My God makes me effective to society to make a difference, it isn't me alone. I can do nothing alone. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
What makes my faith actually exist? I have faith, yes. Is there a way I can make my faith an extension to a faith shaper in other's lives? How am I a faith shaper in another person's life? How have I changed that life or my own in faith and in our relationships with Jesus Christ?
Will I have the courage to step out and do the right thing no matter what I may face out in the 'mission field'? I am constantly in a battle and the battle only seems to get a bit worse each time. What is making me stronger, not faith alone, but God?
Why is it I am one of the few who feel I can relate to someone so easily and find that person so genuine and another can not?
How is it God uses me for ministry at times and I don't even know how I have actually influenced that person, but yet, when I find out I've impacted their lives so infinitely, I still don't understand what I exactly have done...how is that??
I don't get it.
Sometimes, God uses people who have the guts to really stand up for what they truly believe what is right and who aren't afraid to step out in faith for Him, to make a difference in other's lives...I just sometimes never realize, I have the guts, but don't always apply it.
Yet, when I've stepped out in faith, helped out other people, acted out on what I think Jesus would have done, and what I know is right Biblically and everything, and I try to be an example of Christ, I shine...maybe God is really telling me...ministry is for me...and I'm too blind to always see that.
Maybe God really wants to work through me in infinite ways and I'm always running from it because I fear. Fear is insecurity, if I'm insecure, where is my faith? Where is my faith in God, then?
"Who should I fear, when I have God?" Do not be insecure, you have God. God is an Almighty, powerful, merciful God who loves. Therefore, do not worry. Just trust and have faith.
Lose the insecurity, and be secure. "my heart secure"-is with Jesus.
-<3 Mak
I just do not know how to organize them in files. My brain does not contain file holders for each set of thought and the particular category that thought would fall under.
How do I organize my time?
How will I organize my work?
Is my work even effective in the life of others?
Is anything I do effective in the lives surrounding me? How am I to be effective and what makes me effective?
Not all what I learn, but how I use what I learn, and my experiences tied together, and how I deliver that. What makes me effective as a person, is my God. My God makes me effective to society to make a difference, it isn't me alone. I can do nothing alone. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
What makes my faith actually exist? I have faith, yes. Is there a way I can make my faith an extension to a faith shaper in other's lives? How am I a faith shaper in another person's life? How have I changed that life or my own in faith and in our relationships with Jesus Christ?
Will I have the courage to step out and do the right thing no matter what I may face out in the 'mission field'? I am constantly in a battle and the battle only seems to get a bit worse each time. What is making me stronger, not faith alone, but God?
Why is it I am one of the few who feel I can relate to someone so easily and find that person so genuine and another can not?
How is it God uses me for ministry at times and I don't even know how I have actually influenced that person, but yet, when I find out I've impacted their lives so infinitely, I still don't understand what I exactly have done...how is that??
I don't get it.
Sometimes, God uses people who have the guts to really stand up for what they truly believe what is right and who aren't afraid to step out in faith for Him, to make a difference in other's lives...I just sometimes never realize, I have the guts, but don't always apply it.
Yet, when I've stepped out in faith, helped out other people, acted out on what I think Jesus would have done, and what I know is right Biblically and everything, and I try to be an example of Christ, I shine...maybe God is really telling me...ministry is for me...and I'm too blind to always see that.
Maybe God really wants to work through me in infinite ways and I'm always running from it because I fear. Fear is insecurity, if I'm insecure, where is my faith? Where is my faith in God, then?
"Who should I fear, when I have God?" Do not be insecure, you have God. God is an Almighty, powerful, merciful God who loves. Therefore, do not worry. Just trust and have faith.
Lose the insecurity, and be secure. "my heart secure"-is with Jesus.
-<3 Mak
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
It is stirring upon me everyday now...the more that I know...the more I don't even want to know..the more I wish I hadn't known...
My grandma has cancer. I'm afraid. I have come home to hear so much devastating news going on...what do I do? How is this playing a role in my life? What can I do to make it better for them? How is God going to use me in their lives to make an impact?
I don't know, but I want to know, now...so I can take action..
Lord use me...please. They need You and everything of You. I am near them...but You are so much nearer..but if it is in Your great will, please use me in their lives in some way that is a glorification to You.
Your love has no bounds...
why can't mine be such as that? why can't Your people have such a mere reflection as such love?
Lord...use my love to be alike as Yours...to pour down like rain unto those who need the steadfast love in their hearts and lives...
My grandma has cancer. I'm afraid. I have come home to hear so much devastating news going on...what do I do? How is this playing a role in my life? What can I do to make it better for them? How is God going to use me in their lives to make an impact?
I don't know, but I want to know, now...so I can take action..
Lord use me...please. They need You and everything of You. I am near them...but You are so much nearer..but if it is in Your great will, please use me in their lives in some way that is a glorification to You.
Your love has no bounds...
why can't mine be such as that? why can't Your people have such a mere reflection as such love?
Lord...use my love to be alike as Yours...to pour down like rain unto those who need the steadfast love in their hearts and lives...
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