5 years ago the 20th

Hello friends, At midnight, when it strikes the 20th of July is the anniversary mark of when I gave my heart to Jesus and believed that He saved me by dying on the cross for not only my sins, but the sin of the world. Here I am 20 years old and looking back on how 5 years has gone by, wow. I can't believe that it's been 5 years since I was baptized at Hilton Head Island, SC in the Atlantic Ocean. Thinking back, it's rather nostalgic to me. I guess it's because it isn't everyday that a Christian is baptized in the ocean at midnight. Of all days, times, and moments....God called me there. I almost cannot fathom over such an event for the simple reason of it's really deep. Back then, I didn't think much of the baptism itself until I felt anew. Let me explain briefly who I was and what was going on back at the time. There I was, 14 years of age. Living with my Mom, older brother; Jason, and a stepfather; Craig. (Craig had kids who well, weren't kids. They're adults. I was rather close with one; Corinne who I still am relatively close with, along with her husband; Tim.) Anyways, during that Summer, I was going through a lot of issues and Corinne had noticed and asked if it was alright that I had gone down to have a 'vacation' with her and Tim for about a month by staying at their apartment. My mom had agreed it was fine and in July I ended up staying in Hilton Head Island, SC. Corinne and Tim are two Christians who are very kind, loving, and warm hearted people. Enjoyable company. At the time, they were working/volunteering at their church where they were involved with Youth Ministry. Also, Tim played drums in the worship band and Corinne helped with slides. They were church goers. I...was not. I did not grow up in that environment whatsoever. It's not that my family is not spiritual or 'Christian' it's just, they didn't force Christianity into our lives, despite, I did know what church and somewhat knew of who Jesus Christ was, slightly, that is. At this point, I was really uncomfortable knowing I would be in the church setting most of my days within a week due to them being so involved. While they were busy, I knew no one. That made me nervous and very uptight. While being exposed to the church setting, I was quite nervous, but...ended up relaxing over a week or two that had passed. People there would greet me with a hug and were attempting to get to know me for who I was. That was really odd to me. I didn't get it. Why were these people being so friendly and loving towards me? They did not know who I was. I felt awful and worrisome. ------- Note: At the age of 14, my past was dark. At that time, I was going through many medical concerns and was very depressed. Depressed wasn't even a description of how I felt about myself. I had almost no confidence, felt unhappy and misunderstood, frustrated, angry, and wanted nothing to do with people. I was immensely bullied at school, given, home wasn't any better. I was emotionally/verbally/physically abused from a stepfather and had to witness seeing my family being treated the same way. That broke my heart and I felt as if I could do nothing about it. While with school and home being so broken, I felt life was meaningless and attempted suicide various times, yet unsuccessful. 3 days before I had left for SC, I attempted suicide and did not succeed. I didn't understand why I was given life.-------- After 2 weeks had gone by, the third week I began to open up with others. My personality started to shine a bit more. I was talkative, animated, and smiled for the first time in a long time. I was given a Holy Bible and was taught how to pray. I never prayed alone, I prayed with others who helped me know and learn until I felt comfortable. I didn't know how and where to start with reading the Bible. I first learned about the life of Jesus Christ and what He did for us, then I was introduced to Law, so that I could distinguish between Law and Gospel. After that, I started from the beginning to learn about how God created us and the world altogether. Won't kid you, I was very intimidated and a little frustrated, yet remained patient. The last week in SC, it was late at night. I had stayed after with Corinne, an elder, and the Pastor. They were cleaning up and all of that. I waited patiently for them to finish so Corinne and I could head back to the apartment. While talking, Corinne asks me a life changing question..."Makaya, do you want to be saved?" Saved? What's that? What's this 'saved' matter that she speaks of? I didn't really know what that meant and didn't want to seem dumb, so I denied the offer. She asked if I was sure and I nodded my head yes. Then, I felt something inside of me, say, "It's okay, do not fear. It's okay." I listened and after 10 minutes or so...I went up to Corinne and said, "Corinne, I want to be Saved. I want to accept Jesus." She smiled and hugged me. She was so excited. There, she had called over the Pastor and elder telling them that I wanted to be Saved. They rejoiced and asked if they could pray over me and I accepted. Each, they placed a hand on me and after 10 minutes or so of prayer, Corinne's hand was lead up to the back of my neck and she asked, "Makaya, I feel God leading my hand here...did something happen to you?" I broke down in tears, sobbing like a child who had fallen off of their bike..or scared at the least. I had confessed that we were being abused by Craig and I had been experiencing physical bullying in school, too. I poured my heart out right there to these people who I had not known long, unlike Corinne I had known for a few years. Never did I cry, so hard in my entire life. I had then made a deeper confession of how I attempted suicide multiple times and didn't understand why love would hurt and if I was loved, then why was I so broken inside? Why would God love me when I've attempted to hurt myself and have hurt others in the long run...especially by breaking my own mother's heart at hating myself. A parent would never want that for their child. There, they each hugged me and reassured me of how loved I was and that God loves me so much and that I was His child. They continued to pray and after about 30-45 minutes of praying and confession, they then exclaimed, "LET'S TELL EVERYONE AND CELEBRATE! WE MUST CALL EVERYONE AND TELL THEM TO MEET US AT THE BEACH FOR YOUR BAPTISM!!" I felt better and looked at them like they were crazy loopy for at midnight... After their excitement, we left for the beach so that I and another man would be baptized the same night. About 15 minutes or so we arrived at the beach and it was really dark out. I remember the scenery. It was a clear night sky, with a full moon, and the stars were bright and vibrant with their pale white value. The air was fresh and the ocean was calm with a slight tide. No one had shown up, but Tim, the Pastor, the other man (my brother in Christ so to speak), and myself had walked out to the water where it was about...ehh, waste high. They prayed and I watched them baptize my brother in Christ and realized, "Oh man, this is it...I wonder what this feels like?" After they prayed, they then told me to hold my breathe and bend back. There, I went under water. ----this next part, I am NOT kidding---- Came up out of the water and saw a beam of light and then wiped my eyes once more and saw the beach full of people from the church rejoicing and cheering. My feelings? FREE. LIGHT. HAPPY. JOYOUS. EXCITED. AND...I can't explain all of these crazy happy feelings and the feeling of...no weight on my chest or..shoulders there. I couldn't remember the past things then and could not...get out of this 'state of mind' where I was just..happy. I went back to the beach and hugged everyone. When I was there, I ran around and said, "Thank you. Just..thank you!" I was on this emotional high..even on the way back. ---this next part not kidding!--- While in the car on the way back to the apartment, it was just Corinne and I. As she was talking, I kept hearing this voice say, "Pray for Jason! Pray for Jason, now! He's being hurt!" I listened and was like, "Corinne, sorry, but...I feel something telling me to pray for Jason now!" So we did as she drove. As we prayed, I felt better. But I heard this voice so loudly speaking out to me and it was really freaky at the time. It kept telling me to pray about all of these things, to not fear, and to know that things were alright and I was going to be better. That night, as I went to bed...I remembered seeing others and Jesus paintings with Him kneeling on the ground praying. Therefore, I did the same. I got down on my knees, placing my hands together lying them on the edge of the bed and prayed. I thanked God for the baptism, saving us, and loving us for who we are despite our sins. I asked that He would teach me to be like Him and that I would know what love really was and what it meant to show and be loved as His Son did. Went home, baptized the next day...surprising my parents with the news. They were happy for me. 2 years later at 16, I was invited by my friend Amanda to attend church with her. She is a member at St. Luke Lutheran Church Cabot, PA. At this time, I was getting involved with the Youth Ministry and volunteering opportunities. I then, began attending church services as well and became actively involved. That same year, was my first mission trip to Richmond where I served by working with various other church groups along side them, working with the mentally disabled and helped rebuild and fix up an elderly couple's home. I also made a few life long friends who I am still in contact with today and visited with over Thanksgiving. They're such a blessing to me. 2 years after that, at 18 years old I became a member of St. Luke Lutheran by taking their Discipleship course and that Summer of 2010 after I had graduated HS, I attended the LCMS National Youth Gathering to only have grown in my discipleship, fellowship with brothers and sisters in the faith, witness, and love for Christ, and His people. That same Summer, then transitioned within the Fall, beginning at Concordia University of Ann Arbor, Ann Arbor, MI where I intended a Family Life Youth Ministry major. There, I spent from August 2010-November 2011 in attendance. Yet, within that time period I have made some of the greatest friendships and have come to know that God has such a great group of disciples out there that I've crossed paths with. The many friendships that I still have today with those who have attended CUAA are...some of my best and most close friends...not only because of who they are, but the fact they have shown a love for me as Christ did by taking the time to know me for my heart and share in fellowship. They have been one of biggest blessings to me and I love each and every single person significantly. Friends who are reading this that I met at CUAA, thank you for being you and I love and appreciate your friendship and the heart that you have. Many prayers of thanks have been lifted for and because of the each of you. Keep growing in your faith and love for Christ. <3 Also, while at CUAA I was given the opportunity and blessing to be a speaker at a Youth Ministry event called, "Tool Time." There, I had shared my testimony of how I came to Christ and said how that...we are a chosen people of God and we are able to stand tall in all cases because God is our rock and refuge. That...had to of been one of the biggest blessings to me because I had met many youth and am a mentor to them..praying and keeping in touch with them and their faith. Between these times, I've shared of my testimonies of how I've gone from feeling like nothing to feeling like something..and that something is being a disciple of Christ, who feels completely called to love and share the love of Jesus with those who cross my path. By doing so, it has influenced my family who aren't the most spiritual. They've been open to prayer, attending church, and discussing God's love and wisdom. Thanks be to God! Here I am at 20 years old, a child of God who chose to have life and I know my calling. My calling is this: "1 Thessalonians 5:14-15, 10-11 "And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with Him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." You and I are saved. He saved us and we are so loved. I tell you the truth, I am no longer the person I was at 14. Rather, this is what has happened to me and who I am is a loving being. I love you my brother, sister. God loves you, please know this. "20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20 I pray that by my testimony, God has spoken through me to you so that you are well aware that no matter what you are going through, no matter your past mistakes or decisions, you are loved for the heart that God has created in You. You are created in His image, not the world's. You, my brother, sister, are loved by a God who wants to love and save you. I went from lost to found, won't you be found, too? I pray and ask in God's holy precious Son's name that you will be found and saved because we love you. Thank you for reading and blessings to you, Makaya