A hardship, blessing in disguise it is!

The topic of divorce isn't an easy one nor is it really a subject that I am so much fond of, but it is on my heart. Just awhile ago at dinner, there were some people that I was sitting with that were discussing divorce and how it's really common now'a days. Which, they're right, it is common. Yet, what stood out to me about this was what a young woman stated, "I feel that everyone who goes through divorce, after about 5 years later they are rather mean or bitter. Not everyone, but majority." I strongly disagree with that statement? Why? Because it hits home for me. (I am not saying that what she said is right or wrong, but that is a very strong generalization that is not good to assume people will become bitter over time from that form of hardship.) Why do I disagree with this? 1) Not all divorces that happen were due to horrible reasons, but for the better in some cases; ie: possibly sustaining stability and emotional health for children. 2) For a possible reason for not being in love anymore and want to do the right thing by not holding each other back from a form of happiness or something along those lines. 3) Could be abuse going on and needed to get the law involved so that divorce would occur. And whatever other reasons that could have caused divorce, but we do not want to discuss those reasons nor really extend the list due to numerous reasons not being healthy or good. I feel that whenever someone discusses divorce they may go by the generalizations so much because to experience is a completely different sense of understanding that is brought to the plate of divorce. One can know and hear of divorce from family or friends, but to experience and know the emotional toil that brings to the heart is something one will never understand unless they face it. To not bring in personal matters so much, but the reason I firmly cannot agree with this young woman's statement is for the fact I know plenty of people very well who have unfortunately experienced divorce and aren't bitter people. Divorce in a sense has brought these people strength to know it's okay and can move on. Or, it's taught them that it was for the better for them and the other person, despite how hard it may have been for others impacted. My mother is a wonderful person. She has experienced 2 divorces, yet, 1 of them is from my older sister's father and he is still great friends with my mother and family today. He's a great guy. Very mature of them to sustain something there for Erica's sake, despite that was years ago..and she's 38 years old now. As for the other divorce for a better reason and personally, I am glad that it happened, well..so is all of my family, especially my mother despite she faces fear and hurt from what came of the marriage and divorce process. This one really hits home for me... for four years of my life my mother was married to a man who really hurt my family emotionally and physically. To escape that marriage for my mother was the hardest thing she ever did, but did it! She had the strength to say no and leave him. At 15 years old, I didn't know what to really do or say especially living in fear, yet I didn't feel fear around this time so much because at 14 years old I was saved by Jesus Christ and came to know within that year God didn't want fear in my heart... by using that form of love, I shared that with my mother and said to her, "God knows the pain and will take it away. Don't fear Mom, be strong and God will do the rest." I asked her to trust not only what I suggested, but mainly in God because being a 15 year old kid, I couldn't really do much. Words are powerful, but for me, I was a bit actionless. Anyways, I'll never forget whenever she said she was done and fought with him for so long over us leaving. What did she do? Took us kids, (brother and I), and left. We moved in with my older sister. There, hope was restored. Looking back on that time, I bring this up to strongly say, my mother is not bitter over the experience, but VERY strong. My mother has a strength that I don't know many to have. My mother is a strong woman who is someone I immensely look up to for her iniative to take action to protect and care for her family out of love. That love my mother had shown us, she sacrificed so much for us. She sacrificed a home, items, and many possessions that she paid for and owned (yes, my mother owned the home we lived in) and gave ALL of that up to protect the family (us kids) and said, "To hell with all of this. Nothing is more important than my family. The love and happiness of a family is all that I'll ever need to live and you can keep all of this. We don't need it because my family knows what it means to love and be a family." And dang it, we did. We sacrificed a TON to stick together. What's funny about this, a lot of our things...we lost over time from this experience and we didn't care. We had each other. We had a love that was sustained by sacrificing worldly attributes. That divorce taught us to be strong in the love we have for one another and others. I remember whenever I was 18, my mother discussed with me further her thoughts (being that I was a kid at the time, you shouldn't discuss so much of those matters with a child)..well, she said, she regrets ever being with that man due to us hurting, but right there I told her that what we went through, as hard as it may be to believe is God's way of us gaining so much more. We gained wisdom, understanding, love, what it meant to be sacrificial, to live a happy life with one another despite losing so much of this world...we gained understanding what it meant to be truly happy even if we didn't have everything to share within the world. Because, we realized it wasn't important compared to what we shared the most, that being love. The love we shared then and do now is GOLD compared to that bronze. All that she gained as a divorce woman is golden and she as a single mother has a strength and the ability to be a great mother by her own is something she deserves all the more praise for. Okay, I know that I am about to get mushy gushy and everything over my own mother and brag, but I cannot help, but say, I AM THANKFUL AND REJOICE IN THE LORD OF THIS EXPERIENCE BECAUSE OF GOD GIVING HER THE STRENGTH THAT SHE NEEDED IN THAT TIME AND EVEN NOW TO BE A GREAT MOM. Also! If it weren't for them getting married, I would have never met the people who God used to help with the decision of being saved by Christ or just becoming a disciple of God! If it weren't for that also, how else would I have helped bring my parents and family closer to God? Divorce isn't easy, but this experience made us stronger and rejoice in God, our Savior. Honestly, my mother is the greatest mother in the world. I love her so much and she's one of my best friends. I can tell her anything and she's there for her family in the drop of a penny. No matter where you're at, what time it is, anything, she's there for her family and drops what she's doing for the family out of love. She is...definitely one of the most sacrificial people that God has blessed me with because she knows what it means to love and so much more. My mother has a heart of gold and with her attributes as a mother, I want to be just like her in that sense. It's rather funny to me because we're such complete opposites in personality, but the sacrificial and altruistic attributes are gained from her. My mother went through much hardship, but gained so much. She is happier and still just as loving. By that, I defend to say, not all people who face divorce are bitter. Despite God may not agree with divorce nor does He like it, I firmly feel that God had my family go through such a battle to only triumph so much more to really grow closer to Him. I know that's really odd to say, but I can't help yet feel that way. What does He think and have to say? Well, in Mark 10 Jesus discusses that ever since the beginning of creation God created a man and female to leave their families to only be joined together as 'one' in flesh and God joined them together and man shall not separate them. Although, He also states that anyone who is to divorce their wife to marry another, vice versa, is committing adultery. The covenant of marriage is broken by the sin of man, leaving divorce. God says that to divorce, you must give your wife a certificate of divorce and not marry again. (I feel a lot of people do not follow this nor do they fully understand the importance of marriage and how vital it is to be prayerful about a marriage...) Despite God does not agree with or like divorce there is an: important matter to remember is that we were born under the curse of Adam being sinful by nature. What man does to sin, can destroy what is good in God's eyes, but by living a Christian life we can help guide our hearts and minds to not be sinful so that what is good isn't destroyed. Unfortunately, in this case of my mother, what man did was sinful in nature and destroyed what God placed together. I question whether or not this man's intention was good from the start or just changed over time, but that isn't for me to know or even really ponder over, neither is it for anyone else. As to why God may have placed them together is unknown and I know that what is unknown from God is usually better to be in that lost place because it protects our hearts. God understands that we aren't perfect and are sinful, but this is why He sent His only son our Lord, Jesus to save us. God knows we aren't going to be leading perfect lives that live by His 10 commandments, but wants us to really live a life that does abide by the Law so that we can use the Law to help people see Christ within us, by also living of the direction of what Jesus taught us in the Gospel. (This makes sense right?) What people who have divorced can do right by is, by loving. John 15:11-17 New International Version (NIV) 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit —fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other. We are to continue on with great strength and love for one another giving God all of the praise, thanks, and rejoice for what may have been a hardship, now is nothing more than a memory that is to be dissolved into the world... something that won't and doesn't last. What lasts, is love. It goes beyond generations and is everlasting. By the hardship of divorce and great love that God taught and shown us through His son, Jesus, we gained a stronger and greater love that is everlasting. Praise be to the Lord, the King of Kings, and the great Morningstar, for we go through rough times, but only to come out stronger and loving by His great power, strength, and love! <3 Mak PS. Mother's Day is coming up. Remember to thank your mom for everything. She deserves it more than you may realize! I love and adore you, Mom. :)